Terrible Things Guys Actually Say On First Dates

We all know there are things we’re not supposed to talk about on a first date: no whining about exes, no complaining about your job, no mention of the fact that you’re dying to be in a serious relationship. And you would think that you’d be on your best behavior on a first date. After all, you’re meeting someone for the first time and you want to make a good impression. But as we women know, the first date can seem like a lost art and we usually go on more bad ones than good. There are a bunch of weird comments that guys make on first dates that can leave you shaking your head.

  1. “You’re really short.” Okay, when did it become okay to use short as an insult? Some people are short, some people are tall, and yet it’s someone become totally accepted to comment on someone’s height. Probably not the best first impression a guy could make. And this insult will only feel worse when you inevitably get asked for your I.D. if you end up staying for the date (but after an opening line like that, feel free to run away).
  2. “Are you ready for marriage?” An actual question a guy asked me recently. And the weirdest part? I don’t think he meant with him. He was just asking in general.
  3. “What are your tips for a good first date?” See above. It was the same guy. It was like he was interviewing me for a dating survey. More than a little awkward considering we were actually on a first date.
  4. “So, how long have you been on Tinder?” Here’s a tip, guys: we know that we met on Tinder. It’s super popular and it’s the dating app of choice for all our friends. But we don’t want to discuss it – at least not right now.
  5. Mentioning an ex-girlfriend. Some guys just casually bring up an ex and they seem to think it’s okay because they’re talking about a book she liked or something like that. But it’s not okay at all. It’s super strange. Do they want us to know they have had girlfriends before? It’s just too soon for the relationship history talk.
  6. Commenting on what we’re drinking. Yes, we know we just ordered a glass of red wine. There’s no need to tell us, and yet some guys feel the need. Are they just looking for something to say? Can’t they find something more interesting to talk about?
  7. “So, what are your summer plans?” This is a confusing one, because if we like you or feel a vibe, we want to be part of your summer plans. We will wonder why you’re telling us about your upcoming trip to Ireland. Do you like us too and want us to know you’ll be away for part of August? Or are you trying to prove that you’re too busy to date us? Either way, it’s awkward.
  8. “Do you like music?” Another actual question I’ve been asked. I’m not sure if the guy knew a lot of music-hating people but I didn’t realize that they exist.
  9. “I’m getting a sexual vibe from you right now.” My poor friend was innocently drinking some beer and eating some greasy nachos when a guy told her this. She was super freaked out and confused. So that didn’t go over very well for him.
  10. Not saying anything at all – about our own interests, that is. Some guys think it’s all about them and will proceed to complain about their lives/jobs/exes for the entire evening. Or talk endlessly about their fave documentaries without asking which ones we’ve seen. A first date is a two-way street and both parties need to be having an actual conversation for it to work out. You can’t get that elusive second date if you don’t ask us a single question.
Aya Tsintziras is a freelance lifestyle writer and editor from Toronto, Canada. In addition to writing about dating and relationships for Bolde, she also writes about movies, TV, and video games for ScreenRant and GameRant. She has a Political Science degree from the University of Toronto and a Masters of Journalism from Ryerson University. You can find her on Twitter @ayatsintziras and on Instagram @aya.tsintziras.