What Your Text Messages Say About Your Relationship

Dating in the smartphone era comes with both its blessings and curses, and decoding cryptic text messages can be tough, to say the least. For many of us, relationships can be made up of just as many conversations over text as in person, and although it’s best not to overthink every single text, the messages between you and your crush can reveal a lot about the relationship!

  1. The Emoticon Senders
    “:) :O <3”You either love them or you hate them. Trigger-happy emoticon senders are a breed of their own, closely related to the obsessive-compulsive GIF sender. A few emoticons here and there can indicate that your crush feels comfortable with you and isn’t worried about misinterpreted messages or crossed wires.
    However, if your partner sends you streams of emoticons but very little in the way of coherent sentences, they may not be quite as invested in the relationship as you are. Remember, winking tongue face is not a response and the crying laughing emoticon is not an answer. Don’t sell yourself short—you deserve full sentences!
  2. The Love Letter Texters
    “Good morning beautiful”
    “Have an amazing day”
    “Miss you already!”If your significant other likes to whisper sweet nothings to you digitally, the romance is truly alive and well. They’re thinking of you and they’re not afraid to show it—lucky you! However, if you struggle to get any other kind of conversation out of your S.O. over text, the attraction may only be skin deep.
    Test the waters with some slightly more thrilling conversation starters. If they have more to say than just text kisses, you may have found yourself a keeper!
  3. The Double Messagers
    “Hey, what you up to?”
    “Did you see my message?”
    “…”We’ve all dealt with a double messager before, whether they’re a friend, partner, or a colleague. And there’s no nice way to put it: they’re needy! There’s no doubt that the double messager wants your attention. If you like to feel wanted, this can be quite the treat—as long as they don’t guilt you for not texting back immediately, that is. However, if you’re looking for a relationship with some independence or a little bit of mystery, the double messager may be a bit too clingy for you.
  4. The 1AM Texters
    “You up??”
    “What are you wearing?”Let’s not beat around the bush—you know what they want! If you’re looking for a regular hookup, this person could be just who you’re looking for. But if you want something more, don’t rely on the 1 a.m. texter.
  5. The Guns Blazing Messager
    “I can’t believe you did that…”
    “We need to talk about this!”
    “Is there something you need to tell me?”Whether it’s diving head-first into an argument or delving into some R-rated sexting, these people go into their messages with guns blazing. They generally aren’t very good at communicating their feelings and can never quite find the words to express themselves in person. Although this kind of texter usually cares about you, they’re not necessarily communicating in a way that’s healthy for the relationship. Try bringing it up with them and see if you can improve communication. In the end, difficult conversations are always going to be a little uncomfortable, but you should be able to have them face-to-face with your partner.
  6. The One-Word Texter
    “K”There are two likely explanations for a one-word texter: one, they’re trying to play it cool, or two, they’re just not that interested in you. With such a slow and frustrating channel of communication, it can take a while to find out which type of texter your crush is, but honestly, both types of people are pretty annoying. It may be worth saving yourself some time and cutting out texting them altogether.
    Another explanation for one-word texting is that your crush is simply not a big talker, though this obviously isn’t the case if they’re big talkers in person. If you like a person of few words or someone brooding and mysterious, you’ve caught yourself a good ‘un!
  7. Ms/Mr Super Vague
    “Just out.”
    “I might be free then…”There’s no one that makes people feel crazier than the vague texter. These people like to avoid questions or say things that are just vague enough to make you start worrying. Although there may be some exceptions, in general, these folks can be pretty toxic. Their intentions are often to make you feel jealous, worried or insignificant. If you find that you get called crazy or irrational for asking questions or pressing for details, run for the hills—that can be an early sign of gaslighting.
  8. The Text-Only Guy/Gal
    “We should definitely meet up soon!”
    “Oh, I can’t meet up this week – sorry!”This texter is actually an entirely different type of relationship in itself… If you’re in a text-only relationship, you’ll send and receive plenty of messages but you’ll rarely (if ever) see each other in person. Your crush may be smooth with the lines, but they rarely follow through. Unfortunately, text-only folks often can’t really be bothered to make the effort in a relationship or aren’t really serious about you.
  9. The Thinking-Of-You Messager
    “I thought you might like this…”
    “Do you want me to pick you up on of these?”This gem of a texter may not send anything too romantic and they may not text often, but they always send something thoughtful or meaningful. The Thinking-Of-You Messager truly gets you—provided they’re sending stuff that you’re actually interested in, of course. They’re willing to put time and effort into getting to know you as well as keep an eye out for things to make your day.
Isabelle is a freelance writer from Leeds, England. She enjoys discovering hidden cafes and getting lost on her bicycle (often not on purpose).