Everyone who has spent a decent amount of time in the world of dating knows that it’s overflowing with players—people who lead you to believe one thing or that they feel a certain way when in fact, it is far from the truth. You don’t want to waste precious time trying to build something with someone who is only stringing you along. Lucky for you, you can tell if a person is playing games through their texts. Here are signs to look out for.
- They never text first. There’s nothing wrong with texting first or making first contact, but if you’re always the one doing it, you need to step back and ask why. Surely, if they cared as much about you as you clearly do about them, they would try to put in the effort to reach out every now and then to let you know they’re thinking of you. They might try to make excuses for it by saying they’re bad at texting and all that, and it may be true. But if you’ve brought it up a number of times and it’s still no different, you need to understand that they’re just playing games with you.
- They take an eternity to text you back. You know that they’re not really busy and they’re the sort of person who is always on their phone, yet they take a lifetime to text you back. It’s probably because they don’t consider you a priority and are not looking to get attached to you any more than they already have.
- They’re always texting to cancel plans. When someone is serious about building something real with you, they always keep their word unless something really serious interferes. If they keep agreeing to go out and bailing when the time draws near, they’re only playing games with you. You might want to play the understanding person by saying there’s no problem and agreeing to reschedule every time, but I wouldn’t bother. It only feeds their ego and gives them more room to keep misbehaving.
- Their texting persona is different from real life. I dated someone once who used to be all intimate and sweet and completely in awe of me whenever we were texting, but then we’d hang out in real life and they were like a whole other person. They’d act like they were merely tolerating my presence and the relationship wasn’t as serious I might have suspected. The different energies really messed with my head and it wasn’t until we were broken up that it dawned on me that I was being played the whole time.
- They only text when they need something. Pay attention to when and why they text you. If you’re always getting a “Hey babe” only when they need a favor or want to hook up, then the person you’re dating is only playing with you and using you. Once you’ve satisfied whatever need they hit you up for, they’d disappear again until the next time they want something.
- Their texting game is often about trivial stuff. I’m not saying you always have to talk about deep and serious stuff like philosophy or what you both want to do in the future, but if a lot of the texts you’re getting from them is about inane, unengaging stuff, there’s a good chance it’s because you’re being played. They can’t be bothered to have an actual conversation with you so they’ll settle for scraps.
- They’re always pulling a Houdini. People who are being straight with you will have no problem giving you a heads up if they’re going to be away and unable to communicate with you as much for a while. They won’t pull a vanishing act, then return three weeks later like everything’s all good, offering some flimsy excuse for their absence. They might even stand you up without warning, then try to guilt you for getting mad at their flakiness. Amazing stuff, right?
- You find yourself struggling to get the upper hand in a conversation. What you should be focusing on with a person you’re dating is how much you like them. If you have to strive to prove you’re in control, that’s a sign that you feel that you’re being taken for a ride. Seriously, having to figure out how to get the upper hand is proof that you’ve already lost it.
- They send you pictures of other people they find hot. Could they be any more disrespectful? You’re dating, but they can’t seem to stop saving pictures of hot girls on Twitter and Instagram or sharing them with you for some reason. Take the cue and opt out of the game before they make you feel like a loser.
- You always feel like you’re lost in a maze whenever you’re texting them. People who play dating games tend to be very good at it. They’ll have you doubting yourself, wondering if you’re asking for too much. They’ll make you feel crappy for needing something better. If every conversation over text has you feeling confused and hurt, listen to your gut and call them out on their game or dump them.
