We have a complicated relationship with technology when it comes to texting – we simultaneously love it and hate it. There’s nothing more exciting than getting a text from a guy we’re into – and on the flip side, nothing more frustrating than trying your best not to wait for someone to text but being unable to stop anyway. But there are a few ways to get a handle on the mysterious art of texting.
- It’s okay to be the one to text first. It’s not the 1950s. If you like a guy, text him. Don’t wait for him to do it. If he likes you too, he’ll be glad you took the initiative and has probably spent ages wondering what to say to you anyway. You already know that guys are big fans of girls making the first move, so what are you waiting for?
- Stop making excuses. If a guy said he would text you at the end of a seemingly great first date and he doesn’t, then it’s probably not going to be a love connection. He didn’t get busy or tired or lose your number. We only lose when we make excuses.
- If a guy doesn’t answer your text, it’s his loss. It’s so easy to get caught up in wondering what you did wrong or why something isn’t going according to plan, but here’s the truth: you’ve done nothing wrong. It’s all him. If he doesn’t get how smart and funny and amazing you are, then it’s his problem.
- Sometimes you shouldn’t text him, either. Picture this: you’ve had a date or two with a seemingly cool, nice guy. Now it’s Saturday afternoon and your iPhone has zero incoming messages. You’re probably wondering if you should contact him, but think about whether you really should. If a guy wants to be with you, he will contact you.
- Get some exercise/get outside/do something. Sometimes waiting for someone to text is just inevitable – you’re in the middle of setting up a plan, or they texted you first but there’s been a long gap in the conversation. Go to a yoga class, go for a walk, watch some TV – just do something to take your mind off it. Don’t be the girl literally staring at her iPhone waiting for something to happen.
- Text less. It’s fun and easy to get into a routine of texting with your guy 24/7, especially when our lives are so crazy busy thanks to work schedules and social plans. But make sure you’re actually taking the time to get to know each other – you’re totally aware that hook-up culture means people don’t know all that much about each other. If you want something more, spend more time in person.
- Move on. Sometimes when we think or do something, the opposite happens, like when you’re expecting not to hear anything after a job interview and then you get the job a week later. Use the same approach when it comes to dating. Don’t expect to hear from a guy again, even if it’s a pretty good date. And then you can be pleasantly surprised if he does send that text asking to see you again. It’s a win-win.
- Accept that he might hate texting. Not every guy loves texting, just like not every girl does. We’re all different. If the new guy in your life doesn’t respond with more than a few words at a time but he’s totally present and into you when you’re together, then that’s what matters.
- Pick up the phone. What will set you apart more than all the other girls he’s dated than being the one who actually phones? Stop all the will he/won’t he wondering and call him. Some guys hate talking on the phone, some prefer it. If you don’t try, you’ll never know.