As much as you want to hate on your partner’s ex, you have to cut her some slack — she got the short end of the stick, after all. She was in your position before, but with a much less-refined version of your guy. If it weren’t for her doing a lot of leg work prior to you coming into his life, he wouldn’t be the same man you fell in love with. Because of her, a lot of these things are possible.
He knows what he wants.
This is a big deal, because if a guy doesn’t know what he wants, he can’t say with certainty that he wants you. He and his ex didn’t work out because he realized she wasn’t what he wanted, so chances are that he does know what he wants now — and obviously what he wants is you.
He knows what he doesn’t want.
Knowing what he wants is great, but knowing what he doesn’t want is equally as important. His ex had qualities that he obviously wasn’t happy with, and he’s learned what he doesn’t want from a relationship because of her.
He has a better understanding of relationships.
Falling in love is easy; staying in love is a lot of work. Now that he’s seen what it takes to maintain a relationship, he’ll be better equipped to make things work between the two of you.
He’s grown emotionally.
Anyone who experiences love — especially if it’s a very serious or long-term relationship — grows exponentially over time. He put a lot of himself into loving his ex, and because of her, he’s able to love you the way you deserve.
He appreciates you more.
Simply put, you’re not his ex. That’s what he loves most about you. You don’t scold him for his daily lifestyle, or get angry at him over small annoyances like leaving dishes in the sink without rinsing them off. You’re different from his ex, and that’s the best compliment he can offer you.
He’s less likely to hurt you.
If his last relationship ended in heartbreak — whether it was hers or his — then he will do everything in his power to avoid that happening in the future. Having his heart broken or watching his ex’s heart break made him aware of the pain that can be caused by a failed relationship. He won’t want to go through that again.
He knows what he’s doing.
Even if his ex wasn’t very good in bed, he probably learned a thing or two about female anatomy from his experiences with her. He’s outgrown the awkward phase of being unsure of how to please his partner, and whether or not all of his techniques work for you, it’s a better start than jackhammering away like a horny frat boy.
He knows what love should feel like.
Maybe he wasn’t truly in love with his ex, maybe he was. But if he loved her to any degree, he has a better idea of what real love looks and feels like. Now that he knows, he’s never going to settle for less. Don’t forget to thank his ex for being the stepping stone that led him to you.
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