I’m single and ready to mingle… but only with older guys — no more dating the fun loving, game chasing, douche bagging young boys who don’t know what it means to be in an adult relationship. Here’s why I’m over guys my age and younger:
- I’m sick of playing games. In my experience, older guys just don’t play as many games as younger ones — or at least they aren’t jerks about it. Instead of straight up asking to hook up with you, older guys will actually wine and dine in an attempt to get you naked. Chivalry is not dead, people!
- Adulting is hot. There’s something incredibly sexy about a guy who has all his ducks in a row. Granted, he may not be as successful as Bill Gates, but I don’t care about money really. As long as he’s got a regular job and wants to move up in the world, I’m all in.
- They actually know how to dress. It’s time to say no to the guys rolling out of bed and immediately putting on their sweats for a day full of playing Pokémon Go. Older men roll out of bed, SHOWER and then put on that professional attire. Why, you ask? Because they’ve got business to tend to! I’m not saying guys should wear suits 24/7, but they need to at least take a little pride in their appearance and personal hygiene.
- They’re not afraid of emotion. Love is no longer that four letter word that makes them cringe and run away in fear. Boys are afraid to fall in love, but men embrace the feeling, as they rightfully should! Love is an amazing experience if you’re mature enough to appreciate it.
- They don’t act like dating is a chore. I’ve noticed that the dates I go on with older men are vastly different than the dates with those youngins. It’s basically like I’m a contestant on The Bachelor. We have dinner at nice restaurants, take day trips to Sedona and sometimes I’m even given a rose as a token of their admiration. With younger guys? Not so much.
- Texting isn’t an all day affair. Say goodbye to anxiously staring at your phone, waiting for a text message. Those types of games should end once you leave high school, but for some reason, it takes a few extra years for guys to get it. Hopefully, older guys are working and therefore aren’t able to text you all day, every day. It’s a good thing! The texts you do exchange are going to be way more meaningful than the repetitive, “Hey, what’s up?”
- It’s not all about the physical. Sex is important obviously, but it shouldn’t be the main focus of your relationship. Guys should want to have sex with you for both your personality and physical features. If your personality is fire, you’ll automatically be more attractive. Look at Beyoncé and Jay-Z — we all know he isn’t much to look at and yet she’s standing with him. Personality is key.
- They actually communicate. Instead of trying to decipher cryptic messages, you get straightforward conversations. For the most part, older guys say what they mean and mean what they say. No more wondering if “let’s hang out soon” means tonight or two Fridays from now. Adult men ask you out with a date, time, place, and plan. Respect!
