The 10 Hardest Lessons You’ll Ever Have to Learn

The 10 Hardest Lessons You’ll Ever Have to Learn ©iStock/wavebreakmedia

You know you have to make some changes in your life, but sometimes the choices you have to make are overwhelming. We’ve all been there. Frankly, it sucks and there’s no way to sugarcoat it. To become a better you, you’re going to have to go through some hard experiences. You’ll make it through to the other side. It might feel like your heart is breaking, but in the end, you’ll be the best version of yourself. You deserve to better and have a happier life.

  1. Break up with your significant other. You might love the person you’re with, but you know something is missing. Maybe you’ve lived together for a while, but you really want to get married and have kids and he doesn’t. Maybe every time you try to better yourself, he makes you feel guilty for it. Your significant other could be holding you back from living your dreams. He might also make you feel bad about yourself. I know it’s hard, but if you’re not happy with the person, you owe it to yourself and him to end it. The longer you stay in the relationship, the worse you’ll end up feeling.
  2. Move away from all you know. You’ve outgrown your home town. All your friends and family are there, but the things you want most are somewhere else. Moving away is terrifying. You’ll be on your own, but isn’t it worth it to get your dream job or find out who you really are? Your friends and family will still be there, and you can visit any time. Don’t let your past hold you in one place. Moving is just another part of life. If you want something, go for it.
  3. Find a new group of friends. We are who we hang out with. Have a group of negative friends who always put others down? You’re definitely not going to be a better you with them around. A person might have been your best friend for years, but if she doesn’t bring out the best in you, she’s not worth having around. She only brings you down. These friends are just an emotional drain and baggage you don’t need. You’ll make new friends. Don’t let bad friends ruin your life.
  4. Admit you’re wrong. You think you know everything, especially in your early 20s. Suddenly, you wake up one day and wonder what the hell happened to your life. It’s time for a wake up call. It’s time to admit to yourself and others that you’re wrong. Admitting you’ve made bad choices is the first step towards becoming a better person. It might have seemed fun to waste away your nights partying with friends, but those hangovers have cost you numerous jobs. Maybe you pushed away people who actually cared about you for people who were just using you. Think about what you’ve done wrong and take steps to do better in the future.
  5. Start over completely. Sometimes things get so bad that you need a completely new start. This means a new city, new job, new friends, etc. It’s one of the hardest things to do. This often happens when everything in your life is related. For instance, maybe you worked with your boyfriend and caught him cheating on you. Seeing him everyday is too much. Plus, all you had were mutual friends. It’s even worse if you lived together. The best way to let go of the past and what’s keeping you down is to start over. Let go of everything and start fresh somewhere else.
  6. Focus on your negative traits. Usually, you’re told to focus on the positives. That’s easy to do. Focusing on your negative traits is a real pain in the ass. Believe me, you’ll feel like crap when you’re done. Why do it? You can’t change if you don’t know what’s wrong with you. Think about how you treat others, how well you do at achieving your goals, how you treat yourself and every other aspect of your life. It’s okay to throw yourself a short pity party. After you’re done, get to work on making changes.
  7. Let others criticize you. Having trouble finding anything wrong with yourself? Well, aren’t you perfect? Give others free reign to criticize you. Trust me when I say your friends, family and co-workers aren’t afraid to be brutally honest with you. Tell them you want to be a better person and you need help on where to start. Don’t get offended. Listen to their criticisms. Everything they say might not apply, but a lot of it will. It’s a humbling experience – just don’t let it ruin any relationships. Swallow your pride and let others help you be better.
  8. Open yourself up to others. You’ve gotten hurt in the past and now you’ve closed yourself off. You don’t trust, you don’t let others in and you push people away. Who knows? You might make a cute hermit. Odds are, you need to open yourself up again to be truly happy. You are going to get hurt. People are jerks, but not all of them. You might feel raw at first. It’s okay. You don’t have to trust every stranger you meet. Start with one person. Until you’re more open, you won’t be the best person you can be.
  9. Step out of your comfort zone. You have a nice job and do the same things every weekend. Everyone knows your routine. You’re content, but not really happy. It’s time to do something difficult – step out of your comfort zone. Confront your boss and ask for a better position. Go after a new job. Try a new hobby. Plan a weekend getaway with friends. Have a fling with the hot guy you’re too afraid to talk to. For some people, this might seem easy. For those who are terrified of change, this is one of the most difficult things to do. Start with something small if you have to. Think of it like ripping off a band-aid. It hurts, but only for a second.
  10. Admit you’re not perfect. Many people strive for perfection. As a recovering perfectionist, I had to admit to myself that I’m not perfect. I’m going to make mistakes. I’m not going to please everyone. It’s harder than you think to admit that to yourself. It’s even harder to act on it. You have to stop trying to be perfect to become a better you. You’ll never be happy with the choices you make or who you are until you let go of perfection.

Take a deep breath and get ready to start making changes in your life. Is it hard? Yes. Is it worth it? Hell yeah!

Crystal Crowder is a freelance writer and blogger. She's a tech geek at heart, but loves telling it like it is when it comes to love, beauty and style. She's enjoys writing music, poetry and fiction and curling up with a great book. You can find her on Twitter @ccrowderwrites or check out her other writing on Medium.