It was all going so well. You were chatting with some guy on a dating app or that you met at the bar and you actually think you might like him. He’s funny, likes the same bands as you, and actually asks you questions about yourself. Then, just as you begin to believe there’s a chance for something real, he types those four dreaded words: “Send me a pic.” Well, that’s game over.
He’s not asking for a cute selfie. When a guy asks you to send him a pic, he’s not looking for that cute selfie you took with your iced latte at your local coffee shop or an adorable shot you took of your dog that morning. He’s asking for nudes but trying to be chill about it, thinking you’ll bite. Not gonna happen, dude.
“Send me a pic” exposes his true motives. A lot of people might say I’m being cynical by assuming the worst here, but I’m definitely not. All straight women who’ve spent any amount of time in the dating scene know exactly what “send me a pic” means and why he’s asking. It’s clear as soon as a guy sends this message that he wants to get you into bed. If that’s not immediately possible, he wants to initiate some kind of sexting situation.
It’d be nice if guys would just say what they’re after. “Send me a pic” is basically code for “I’m horny and you’re hot.” It’s flattering at times, but it would be much easier to swallow if these guys would just say straight-up what they’re after. I know it’s not really polite to ask a woman if she feels like sexting or if she wants to sleep together, but sometimes I swear that would be preferable to this faux-coy asking for pics thing.
I don’t know where that pic is going to end up. Obviously, women are much more amenable to the request to send a pic when it comes from a guy we’re in an actual relationship with. This can be flirty, a way to build the sexual tension until you’re together again, etc. However, when it comes from some guy who just so happened to swipe right on you and vice versa, it’s not all that much of an alluring idea. How the hell do I know where my pictures are going to end up or what you’re doing with them? No thanks.
More reasons “send me a pic” needs to die
There are a lot of other things to get to before then. What’s extra annoying is that guys tend to ask women to send a pic pretty early on in the conversation. They ask a few cursory questions to feign interest and then shift the conversation to your physical appearance and soon after, they’re asking for nudes (or if not nudes, a highly suggestive shot of boobs, butt, etc.). What the hell? We’re just getting to know each other and have so much to talk about. Can’t the pics wait?
Not all women will be against the idea of sending nudes. If the conversation was predicated on looking for a hookup or casual encounter, by all means, he can ask the woman in question to send a pic. She’ll probably even be into it because, you know, that’s the whole point of your conversation. However, if you’re claiming to want a proper relationship but skip to sexualizing the conversation within minutes or hours, you’re showing your whole ass. Porn is free and there are plenty of OnlyFans accounts to subscribe to if you’re desperate. Don’t try it with women who are genuinely looking for love.
I guess some guys might be genuine. Okay, so there are rare occasions in which “send a pic” is a legitimate request from a guy who wants to see something totally innocent. For instance, if you’re telling him that you and your friends are at the beach, maybe he actually wants to see the ocean and the sand or the ice cream you bought from the boardwalk. But let’s be real, more often than not, that’s not the case.
Unfortunately, “send a pic” should probably just be retired. Nine times out of 10, this will only elicit an eye roll from the woman on the other end and she’ll be so turned off by you, that you not only won’t get any pictures but you’ll get blocked.