The 8 Reasons Sex Gets Boring, According To Science

As the honeymoon period ends and you get more comfortable with your partner, the sexual spark tends to fade too. Lingerie turns into sweat pants and clean shaves turn into handlebar mustaches. When things get stale, couples who are still madly in love aren’t as concerned with pleasing their partners as they once were. What gives?

  1. How couples view sex has a big impact. People view sexual relationships differently. Even couples can have different ideas about how bedroom activities are supposed to happen and how often. One study says that the reason for the sexual honeymoon period coming to an end comes down to one’s own sexual beliefs. Couples who believed that a healthy sexual appetite and relationship required work fared far better in their overall happiness with their physical intimacy than those who thought it should just happen naturally.
  2. Age plays a huge factor. It might not all be down to being with the same person, but aging with the same person that’s the culprit. Biologically, people become less interested in sex as the years go by. This has nothing to do with their partner at all but rather their own libido dwindling as they get closer and closer to senescence.
  3. The in’s and out’s of life can hinder sexual appetite. A lower sex drive between couples may not have anything to do with their attraction to one another at all and everything to do with what type of day-to-day lives they lead while together. If both partners are overworked, exhausted, and just caught in a spell of routine, the sexual drive can take a serious hit.
  4. It might be the woman’s fault. I don’t want to be the one to point any fingers here, but as it turns out, women get tired of having sex with the same person over and over again far quicker than men. A recent study asked both men and women to share their insights on their own lack of interest in sex and when it happened in their relationship and women lost interest in their partners at about a year’s time. It was due to a variety of factors, but the gist is that men aren’t the usual suspect when it comes to growing bored with the same old.
  5. It could be caused by other relationship issues. If your sex drive is still at an all-time high but your interest in your partner is dwindling, it’s probably because there are unsolved issues in the relationship. Taking problems into the bedroom with you is a surefire way for your subconscious to be less interested in being intimate with your partner.
  6. It’s hard to spark new desire with an old partner. Being with the same person for a long time can lead to a solid routine. This routine, though, often has a hold on whether or not you explore new options in the bedroom. When partners aren’t experiencing anything new, they’re less likely to want to speak up about new desires which lead to boring romps in the sack.
  7. Health can be a factor. Not all sex gets boring because it’s the same old song and dance. As people age, health issues are more likely to arise. When this happens, sex can be pushed to the back burner and people become less likely to initiate intimacy. It’s as simple as just not feeling physically up to rolling around in the sheets.
  8. Couples drift apart emotionally. It can be an inevitable part of a relationship. After all, more than 50 percent of marriages end in divorce. When the emotional aspect of sex is taken out of the equation, sex begins to lose some of its meaning, thus couples find themselves less likely to engage together. When an emotional barrier is put up between two people, open communication about sex stops. When couples can’t be vulnerable about what they want, it’s like an alarm going off in their brain to stop what they’re doing and reevaluate whether or not this is the one person they want to have sex with until they die even if it’s just subconsciously.
Angelica Bottaro has a bachelor’s degree in Psychology from Trent University and an Advanced Diploma in Journalism from Centennial College. She began her career as a freelance writer in 2014, racking up bylines in The Good Men Project, MakeWell, LymeTime, YouQueen, and more. She eventually shifted her focus and began writing about mental health, nutrition, and chronic disease for VeryWell Health.

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