Relationships are supposed to be built on mutual respect and partnership. But sometimes, one person starts acting like they’re the boss, and the balance tips way off. If you’re noticing behaviors that make you feel less like a partner and more like a sidekick, you might be dealing with someone who doesn’t see you as an equal. Here are the clues to look out for.
1. They Brush Off Your Opinions Like They Don’t Matter
It’s one thing to disagree, but it’s another to feel like your thoughts don’t even matter. If your partner constantly dismisses your ideas or always has a “better” suggestion, it could mean they see themselves as more important. In a healthy relationship, both voices count. If yours is getting muted, something’s not right.
2. Your Time Isn’t Valued
Are you expected to drop everything when they call, but they’re always “too busy” when you need something? That’s not respect—that’s total disregard. When one person’s time seems to matter way more than the other’s, it’s a sure sign they’re not seeing you as a true equal in the relationship.
3. They Make Big Decisions Solo
Big choices about finances, the future, or even weekend plans should be a team effort. If your partner is constantly deciding things and trumping your thoughts and opinions, they’re signaling that they don’t think what you have to say matters. Major life decisions need to be a partnership, not a solo act.
4. They Assume Certain Tasks Are “Your Job”
Do they expect you to handle all the housework or deal with the “less exciting” parts of life together? When your partner sees certain responsibilities as beneath them, it’s a sign they don’t view the relationship as equal. Real partnerships mean sharing the load, not one person picking up all the slack.
5. They Hog All the Credit
Whether it’s joint accomplishments or little successes, if they take the spotlight every time, it’s a red flag when they’re always quick to say “I did this” rather than “We did this.” Sharing achievements shows respect and appreciation. If they’re not doing that, they might just see themselves as the main act.
6. They Control the Finances Without Input
Money decisions are big, and it’s one area where both partners absolutely need a say. If they’re managing the finances without so much as even consulting you or making choices behind your back, it shows a lack of trust—and a power imbalance. Finances in a relationship should be transparent and inclusive, not one-sided.
7. They Won’t Compromise, Ever
Relationships need a little give and take, but if it’s always their way or the highway, they’re not viewing you as an equal partner, they’re just being domineering. Healthy couples find middle ground, and both people should feel like they’re being heard. Constantly compromising without any give from them? That’s not equality.
8. They Downplay Your Achievements
Instead of being your cheerleader, they act indifferent or even dismissive when you achieve something. If they’re threatened by your success rather than proud, they’re putting you down to keep themselves up. Relationships work best when you both support each other, and if they can’t ever stop to celebrate you, it’s a problem.
9. They Set Rules Without Consulting You
Does it feel like they’re calling all the shots? Setting rules or boundaries should be a conversation, not something that gets dictated to you. If they’re setting the relationship “rules” without your input, it’s a power play, plain and simple. Both partners should be involved in setting out the rules, not just one of them.
10. They Expect You to Adjust, Every Time
When it’s always you making the adjustments or sacrifices, that’s a red flag. Your needs and comfort matter just as much as theirs. A partner who truly respects you will compromise and meet you halfway instead of expecting you to bend every time.
11. They Don’t Care About Your Input

12. They Act Like Everything Revolves Around Them

If it always feels like your life together is arranged around their wants, schedules, or moods, you’re probably dealing with someone who sees themselves as the center of the universe. In a balanced relationship, they should care about you just as much as you care about them.
13. They Make You Feel Bad for Setting Boundaries
Boundaries are a normal part of any healthy relationship, but if they make you feel guilty or selfish for setting them, they’re trying to control you. An equal partner will respect your boundaries without so much as a complaint. If they’re constantly pushing back, they’re not respecting you or your needs.
14. They Demand Unquestioned Loyalty
Blind loyalty isn’t love, it’s control. If they expect you to always side with them, even when you don’t agree, they’re not respecting your autonomy. Equal partners value each other’s perspectives, even when they’re not the same. Don’t settle for someone who demands obedience over respect.
15. They Make Subtle Digs
If they’re always giving you backhanded compliments or sly criticisms, they’re quietly undermining you. It might seem small, but these “little” digs shouldn’t be ignored. It’s their way of chipping away at your confidence and reinforcing that they don’t see you as equal. Real partners lift each other up, not tear each other down.
16. They Control the Conversation
If they’re always steering discussions or deciding what’s “okay” to talk about, that’s a form of control. In a balanced relationship, both people have an equal say in what matters. If it feels like you’re always just following their lead, they’re not giving you equal ground.