The Dating Struggles Of Being A Woman Who Puts Others Before Herself

While it’s nice to be nice, it’s not always a good thing. Sometimes, when you put others before yourself, you end up getting screwed over. As strange as it sounds, you shouldn’t be afraid to be a little bit selfish, or you’ll end up with these dating problems:

  1. You date men you aren’t interested in. You don’t actually want to go on a date with the dude from your office, but you don’t have the heart to turn him down after he asks you out. You hate hurting other people’s feelings, so you push aside your own needs in order to fulfill theirs.
  2. You give more orgasms than you get. You want to please your partner, which is why you’re always volunteering to get on your knees. However, the more often you go down on him, the less time he’ll have to go down on you, and that’s not fair at all.
  3. You never get to rant about your love life. You’re the person that all of your friends come to for advice, which means you’re always stuck listening to their problems. It doesn’t matter if you’ve been wanting to ask them for their advice about the guy you’ve been hooking up with, because they’ll be too busy talking to ask you about your love life.
  4. You have trouble relaxing on dates. Nine out of ten times, it’s easier to do the wrong thing. Since you pride yourself on doing the right thing and putting others before yourself, you’re pretty much always stressed. That’s why it’s hard for you to sit back and relax with your boyfriend during a date.
  5. You keep your complaints to yourself. When your boyfriend does something to piss you off, you don’t want to make him feel bad, so you bottle up your feelings. If he cried in front of you, you couldn’t take it. That’s why you rarely start fights with him, even though you probably should.
  6. You have too much on your plate. You’ve never been any good at saying “no,” so when your mother asks you to do her a favor, you automatically agree. Of course, you’ve already agreed to do favors for a few of your friends, which means your day is going to be packed. That’s why it’s so hard for you to find enough time to spend with your boyfriend.
  7. You never get your way. If your boyfriend wants to go out to a party, but you’d rather stay inside, you eventually give in and let him have his way instead of coming to a compromise. After all, you want him to be happy. That’s why you’re always the one stuck in situations you’d rather not be in.
  8. You accept the unacceptable. When you like a guy, you don’t pressure him to define your relationship. You don’t want to make him uncomfortable, which is why you’ll lower your standards and accept booty calls, even when you don’t want to.
  9. You put off breakups. Even when you’re absolutely positive that you want to end your relationship, you still wait a while to do it. If you can, you’ll try to convince him to break up with you. That way, he won’t feel as hurt over the whole thing.
  10. You sacrifice your happiness for others. If you focus too heavily on making your man happy, you’re going to end up neglecting yourself. Unless he’s nice enough to sit you down and ask you about your day, you’re going to end up miserable while everyone around you is grinning ear to ear.
Holly Riordan is a writer from Long Island, New York who has authored several science fiction and horror books. A graduate of Stony Brook University, she has spent nearly a decade writing for publications including Thought Catalog, Huffington Post, Teen Vogue, and more. You can find her on Instagram @hollyrio and Twitter @hollyyrio.