When it comes to dating, a lot of people say that age is just a number. While that can be true, age can also influence important aspects of one’s character. As a deceivingly young-looking woman over 30, I’m often pursued by younger guys and have given some of them the benefit of the doubt. My experiments with dating younger guys haven’t been exactly successful, unfortunately. Here are some of the downfalls I’ve experienced and observed while dating guys under age 30.
- They tend to lack emotional maturity. This one isn’t a big shock. It’s a given that men typically mature more slowly than women anyway, and maturity is an important trait to look for in a partner. If you do decide to give that young guy a chance, don’t be surprised when he doesn’t quite know how to manage interpersonal relationships or express himself like a full-fledged adult. That skill is built in time.
- They’re usually not aspiring towards anything serious yet. Women over 30 are fully goal-oriented. We know what we want out of our careers, love lives, and future families. When we ask a guy in his 20s what he wants out of his life, he typically doesn’t have a very solid answer, which is a turn off to us. Life goals are an important thing to have in common with a partner, so it seems like a good idea to stay closer to your own age unless you meet someone who is mentally ahead of his years.
- They think they’re good in bed, but sometimes they’re really just rookies. Every 25-year old stud thinks he’s going to be the best you’ve ever had, but most aren’t. They haven’t quite wrapped their heads around why foreplay is necessary and they think it’s more important to be able to last a long time than to have a favorable technique. Sex is something that gets better with time and experience, so it makes sense to go for someone who has at least as much experience as you do.
- They can be really shallow. All guys can be really shallow sometimes, but it’s the worst when they’re in their 20s. They place more value on what a woman looks like than how funny, intelligent or successful she is. It’s probably due in large part to peer pressure, because their friends don’t care how smart or funny a woman is if she doesn’t look like an absolute trophy to show off. Learning to appreciate someone for what’s inside is another trait that comes with age and maturity, so maybe it’s time to stop robbing the cradle unless you’re packing a fierce 6 pack under your shirt and don’t mind being objectified regularly in front of his bros.
- The ones with nice bodies are likely to be narcissists. Dating a narcissist is awful. If you’ve ever had a guy completely ignore you half the time because he’s busy staring at some other chick, it’s comparable. Now imagine that instead of another chick he’s obsessed with staring at his own reflection in the mirror. Narcissists constantly fish for compliments and are incapable of putting anyone’s feelings ahead of their own, so they’re not a good match for anyone.
- They’re probably still following their parents’ lead on a lot of things. Once we’re beyond age 30, we have found our own way in life and typically don’t give our parents a lot of input in our lives. Guys in their 20s are more likely to still have active parental involvement in their lives and decision-making. It’s not sexy when your dude says “That sounds like a great plan but I have to run it by my mom first.” As a strong independent woman, you should be with a strong independent guy who complements you, and that could mean gravitating more towards men your own age.
- If they do want a family someday, your timelines are probably going to be different. If he’s in his 20s and you’re already in your 30s, you have a deadline approaching, while he has all the time in the world. You don’t want to rush his timeline or hurry him into a commitment he’s not emotionally prepared for, so it’s smarter to date someone who’s your own age or older if you have limited time left on your biological clock and you’re sure you want kids in the future.
- They’re still changing and finding themselves. Remember how uncertain you were about everything in your 20s? Chances are, you’re a much different person now than you were back then. Younger guys are still undergoing this transformation, and you don’t know what the end result will be. You may have better luck selecting guys your own age, who have already found themselves and are at the same point in life as you.
Obviously there are exceptions to every rule, so you don’t need to automatically rule people out due to age but you should be carefully vetting potential partners to make sure they are compatible with you and your life goals. It’s not fun to waste your time dating the wrong guys over and over while your dreams slip further away. Until next time, go forth and be discerning, you sexy independent minx.