There are lots of things to love about being unattached, but no matter how happily single you are, you’ll eventually start to yearn for something more. Once you reach that point, there’s no going back. There are more than a few downsides to being single that many people just don’t realize and they seriously suck.
- It’s possible to watch too much TV. As a self-professed TV addict, I can’t believe I’m saying this. But when you’re single, you tend to spend a lot of nights on the couch. It’s definitely awesome. It just gets old sometimes. You start wishing you had someone to meet for dinner or at least to watch Netflix with you too.
- You miss the excitement of texting. Nothing stresses us out more than crafting that perfect text to the new guy we’re seeing. Now that you’re solo, you actually miss and crave having someone to text 24/7. Those early days seem so fun now that you’ve had some distance from them. In the words of Carly Rae Jepsen, you know you really, really, really like a guy when a text that he’s brushing is teeth is super thrilling. Your BFF telling you that she saw the latest episode of The Kardashians doesn’t have quite the same effect.
- Christmas sucks. Maybe I’ve watched too many Lifetime and Hallmark movies (I definitely have – no shame) but Christmas is such a romantic holiday. If you’re single in December, it feels so much lonelier than at any other time of the year. You want someone to drink spiked eggnog with and to drag to your crazy fam’s Christmas Eve party.
- Your hopeless romantic ways have been put on pause. A dirty text from a Tinder guy may be the new version of romance but you don’t care. You still believe in pink roses and candlelit dinners. Being single means a part of you is on hold. All you can do is watch cheesy movies and pine away. Who wants to be that depressed?
- You sometimes wonder if it’s your fault. As much as we want to appear confident, we all have dark days when we think if only we were cooler/prettier/etc. we would have a boyfriend by now. Fact: there’s nothing wrong with you. You definitely know that. It’s just so crazy-making when you find yourself thinking negative stuff about why you’re still single.
- You wonder if a good first date actually exists. You’ve definitely had more than your fair share of bad dates and it’s inevitable that if you end up at a bar on a weekend evening, you could be seated near two people on a date. It’s usually not going too well. You may swap dating horror stories with your friends and it only convinces you that you’re meant for a life of boring drinks dates.
More downsides of being single
- Your belief in The One changes. When you were in love, you never had to wonder if there was a soulmate because you thought you had found him. The longer you stay single, the more you have to question whether there really is one special person for everyone. If there is someone out there for you, why haven’t you found them? You’ve definitely gone on enough dates by now.
- You’re single by choice. Here’s the truth, even if you just got dumped. Because you can go on a dating site or app and find a date, and eventually one of those guys will want to be with you. It’s your decision whether you’re into them, too. It sucks to realize that this frustrating situation was actually all your idea. You’re refusing to settle and want to wait until you meet the right person.
- You can go weeks without social plans. No matter how many good friends we have, people get busy. Between work and going away for the weekend, not to mention vacation plans, it can be tricky to schedule time for the people in your life, especially in the summer. But if you’re in a relationship, you’ve kind of got a built-in social life. You always have someone to see a movie with and to try that new Mexican place around the corner.
- Your life feels unfinished. This isn’t necessarily a bad thing. We should keep growing and changing, otherwise what’s the point of getting older and supposedly wiser? But there’s something so comforting about relationships. You feel more secure than when you’re single – it’s just the honest truth.
- Everyone else seems to be moving on without you. This is, without a doubt, one of the biggest downsides of being single. You know that everyone’s lives move at different paces and it’s not a race, but you can’t help but feel like you’re way, WAY behind when all of your friends are getting married and having babies and you just got ghosted by a guy you met on Tinder that you didn’t even really like.
What to remember when the downsides of being single are hitting you hard
There will be times when being on your own is just really, really depressing. While the feeling passes, it can be really hard to deal with when you do have it. Here’s what you need to remember during those times.
- You’re better off alone than with someone who’s wrong for you. You might think that it’d be better to be in a relationship with someone, anyone, as long as it meant you didn’t have to be on your own anymore. That’s ridiculous. You know deep down that no matter how lonely you feel sometimes, you’d much rather be alone than with someone who treated you badly or who simply isn’t right for you.
- You don’t need a relationship to have a full life. If you’re waiting to do certain things in life because you think you need a partner to do so, it’s time to get a grip. You can do anything you want to do with or without a romantic relationship. Don’t put your life on hold until you find The One because you’re wasting valuable time. You never know what tomorrow might bring, so you have to live your life to the fullest now. However, at the same time…
- You’ve got so much time ahead of you. You probably know in your heart of hearts that there really is no hurry to find love. Yes, you want to be in a relationship with someone great, but you also have plenty of time to enjoy with them when you finally do meet them. There’s no need to rush the process. Live in the moment.
- You’re a catch. It’s hard to remember this when the downsides of single become abundantly clear, but you need to keep this in mind. Never lower your standards for the sake of being in a relationship. You are worthy of an amazing love. Hold out until you find it.