The Harsh Reality Of Being A Female Nerd

Female nerds are on the rise, and I still don’t understand why everyone (read: mostly men) looks at women who are interested in sci-fi, reading, video games, technology or any other geeky stuff like they’re the most unique creature they’ve ever seen. It’s never been just a guy thing. In fact, guys actually find their nerdy female counterparts rather hot. Why? They share similar interests. The days of trying to hide your nerd side are long gone. However, we still have to deal with our own set of struggles as we encounter people who don’t quite get how awesome it is to be a little different.

Guys see you as “just a friend”.

 I’ve had nerdy guy friends before. When you share so many interests, those guys start seeing you as their best friend instead of a potential girlfriend. Non-nerd guys look to you for tech support. It’s a pain trying to remind everyone you’re not just a nerd, but a woman, as well.

Your look is criticized no matter what. 

If you look like the stereotypical nerd, you get made fun of. If you look like a supermodel, you’re made fun of for trying to not look like a nerd. There’s no middle ground. I never realized “nerd” was a body type, anyway.

Intelligence is intimidating. 

I’ve yet to meet any nerd that isn’t incredibly knowledgeable in at least one subject. That intelligence often comes off as intimidating. Just accept that any female nerd has her strong points, but is always happy to learn more in different areas.

Finding other female friends is hard. 

When you’re always surrounded by women who are more interested in Kim and Kanye’s latest vacation, it’s kind of hard to find women to click with. They don’t have to be nerds like you, but it’d be nice if they’d at least had a passing interest in something you liked.

Everyone thinks you’re faking it. 

Why is it so strange for a woman to be a nerd? I’ve been accused of faking it time and time again, especially when working in IT. Sorry, I’m just trying to be myself here. I like geeky stuff and tend to trip over my own feet. No faking required.

You don’t care about what’s popular. 

If it wasn’t for your normal friends, you’d have no clue what was going on in pop culture. Sure, you might know what’s going on in Game of Thrones before your friends, but you don’t know who the hell the latest celebrity power couple is or what’s so popular with the see through clothing craze.

Bullies absolutely love you. 

One thing hasn’t changed: bullies are ignorant. They’re able to spot a nerd no matter what they look or act like. It also doesn’t matter if you’re male or female. Usually, it was female bullies I dealt with. All you can do is ignore them and continue being incredible.

Everyone assumes you’re smart. 

You might know every word of Tolkien by heart, but when it comes to working your smartphone, you’re clueless. Nerd doesn’t automatically equal Jeopardy-level smart. Sure, you can be a genius, but it’s not a requirement.

It’s hard to talk to non-nerds sometimes. 

The moment you start going off about overclocking your CPU, your non-nerd friends tune out. They just don’t get nearly as excited as you do about nerdy stuff. Odds are, they have no idea what you’re even talking about.

You’re operating in a male dominated world. 

Sure, there’s plenty of female nerds out there, but overall, it’s still a guy’s world. If you can’t get along well with male nerds, you’re going to get lonely. The great thing is, those male nerds are far more accepting of female nerds than in most other male dominate areas.

Most of your friends are guys. 

It serves to reason that if you’re always sharing your interests with guys, the majority of your friends are guys too. They’re the ones you play games with online, talk about the latest gadgets with, argue Star Wars vs Star Trek and much more. Do you really care? No.

It’s easy to get caught up in your own obsessions. 

The worst thing about being a nerd, not just a female nerd, is you tend to get a bit obsessed sometimes. Whether you’re engrossed in a new book, developing a new app, or planning a strategy for game night, you get a little single-minded. You don’t have time for others right that second. You’ll get around to spending time with people when you’re done.

You’d rather stay in on Friday night. 

The idea of going to a club or even out on a date just doesn’t get you excited. Honestly, you’d rather spend time on whatever your favorite interests are. Of course, your friends are welcome to binge on Doctor Who with you if they’d like…

You’re always asked to fix stuff. 

From your grandparents’ computer to your best non-nerd friend’s phone, everyone just assumes you know how to fix things. You’ll even be asked to put kids’ toys back together. It’s really hard to explain that you don’t magically know how to fix every gadget or electronic device out there.

It’s hard to accept being different at first. 

At some point, you realize you’re different. It makes you wonder why you’re not like other women who are into makeup, hair, clothes and flirting with guys. Then you think about life without your favorite hobbies and realize you don’t care. You’re happy to being weird. To you, it’s just normal.

You think normal women are just odd. 

While the cheerleader types are laughing at you, you’re thinking about how strange they are. Honestly, why would anyone want to stand on the sidelines cheering when they could be coming up with a cure for cancer? You don’t think of yourself as different. You see normal people as the weird ones.

If you’re a fellow nerd, don’t be afraid to just be yourself. You’ll be happier and you’ll find much better friends who understand your unique interests and sense of humor.

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