The Introvert’s Guide to Finding Love

The Introvert’s Guide to Finding Love ©iStock/SrdjanPav

Sure, it can be easier to meet people online, and it’s especially beneficial for introverts who have a hard time walking up to strangers and starting conversations. But sometimes, the Internet just isn’t the answer. If you want to meet someone in real life, but you’re not sure how to manage your introverted tendencies while you do it, don’t worry. Here’s how to get started:

  1. Stick to places where you feel comfortable. You’ll have an easier time approaching people if you don’t have that “fish out of water” feeling. If it helps, spend extra time in your favorite places so you become a regular. It’s easier to talk to people if they already know who you are, even if it’s just by sight.
  2. Get the help of an extrovert. Your extrovert friends will be more than happy to act as wing women. If your regular spots just aren’t working for meeting people, they can help you find someone in bars and other tough places for introverts.
  3. Talk to him like how you’d want to be approached. If you see someone you like and aren’t sure how to proceed, think about how you’d want to be approached in this situation. This will give you plenty of ideas for approaching guys, no matter how silly the exercise feels.
  4. Pretend you already know him. No, don’t say you know him to his face. Instead, just think of him as someone you’re already familiar with. Introverts can have a tough time talking to new people, so this can hopefully trick your brain into not being so apprehensive.
  5. Join a club or group. It can be tough to go out in public with the sole purpose of meeting someone to date. Instead, join a group or club that interests you. You’ll get to know people better if you have other reasons to talk to them besides the prospect of a one-on-one.
  6. Don’t discount dating an extrovert.While you’ll want to be with a person with similar ideals and interesting, “opposites attract” is a legit saying. Dating an extrovert can help break you out of your shell. Plus, if you approach an extrovert, he’ll have no problem taking the reigns in the conversation.
  7. Don’t shy away from small talk. Most introverts feel small talk is kind of pointless. Still, it’s better to start small when you’re approaching someone you don’t know. Take his lead and talk about the weather or the “big game” first before delving into the deeper stuff.
  8. Ask questions. If you’re nervous about your conversation skills, just ask questions. People love talking about themselves. Plus, you’ll show how interested you are in him by his responses, which could potentially save you a lot of time.
  9. Make friends. Feeling tons of pressure and nervousness? Instead of approaching someone with the intention of asking him out, think of it as starting a friendship. Some of the best romances start as friendships — just make sure that friend phase doesn’t go on too long if you’re after more than that.
Trisha is a full time writer living in Montana. In her free time, she paints mountainscapes on her skin with body paint and reads a ton of YA lit.