In between boyfriends, I started seeing this guy I’d known back in high school. He took me on lavish dates, treated me like a queen, and made me feel like we had a future together. Then all of a sudden, when things were going really well, he stopped answering my texts.
He disappeared off the face of the earth.
Basically, I got ghosted. One minute we were dating, laughing, and having a brilliant time together and the next, nothing. My texts went unanswered, his social media channels remained silent, and I was left wondering what on earth had happened.
It seemed really out of character for him.
I was totally confused by the whole situation because I knew this guy super well. He was in my friendship group at one point at high school and the only guy that I felt I could talk to about deep and meaningful stuff. We were friends first before we were lovers, and I always thought that he was one of the good ones.
I won’t lie—it really hurt at first.
The fact that we’d stopped dating wasn’t the worst thing. The worst thing was that he just stopped communicating with me when I was supposed to be his friend if nothing else. The fact that I kept trying to contact him and he was clearly ignoring me was the biggest slap in the face that I’d ever received from a guy.
I decided it was his loss.
There was a time when I used to take it super personally if I hadn’t heard from a guy. I used to sit at home, cry into a big tub of ice cream, and wonder what I’d done wrong. Not with him. I knew I hadn’t done anything wrong and it wasn’t my fault that he was no longer interested. What happened was too bad, but it was most definitely his loss. After all, I’m a catch.
I had a lucky escape.
I mean, who wants a boyfriend who’s going to treat you like that anyway? Who wants a boyfriend that’s going to pick you up and drop you whenever he feels like it and make you feel like you’re disposable? Not me. I want someone who’s actually going to treat me with the respect I deserve.
I stopped messaging him.
After a little while, I regained my dignity and stopped messaging the dude to ask him what was going on. Instead, I blocked his phone number, I deleted him off Snapchat, and I unfollowed him on Instagram. There was no way that I was going to waste another minute on someone who clearly didn’t deserve my time.
I started focusing on myself.
I used all that spare time and energy that I had put towards dating him and texting him and put it towards myself instead. I went road-tripping to places I wanted to see, I took myself out to nice restaurants, and I generally treated myself really well. You know what? It felt amazing.
I was thankful that there was no confrontation.
I know it sounds odd, but as time went on, I realized just how grateful I was that there wasn’t any kind of confrontation. I mean, who wants a big argument that just makes them feel like crap about themselves and life in general? Sure, it would be interesting to know why he decided to ghost me, but in the grand scheme of things, did it even matter? In the words of good ol’ Shakespeare, “What’s done is done.”
I got back into single mode.
It felt good to stop waiting around for him to get his act together and just do me. I opened myself up to other opportunities where love could blossom, got back out there on the dating scene, and stopped considering him as an option. I decided that even if he tried to reach out to me to start things up again then I wouldn’t allow it. He’d totally missed his chance and that was on him.
I continued to live my best life.
I haven’t looked back since then. I don’t know what made him ghost me or if he’s ever thought of me since, but to be honest, I don’t even care anymore. If he was worthy of me, he’d still be in my life, and that’s all I have to remember.
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