The Real Struggles Of Women With Resting Bitch Face

As a woman who constantly has a resting bitch face, I can tell you, it’s not easy. People think I’m snobby, judgmental, and even mean because of the way I hold my face when I’m just, well, being alive. While the first two assumptions aren’t entirely off base, the fact is the majority of the time I’m just deep in my thoughts or maybe not even thinking at all. You know, just living, but that still doesn’t stop people from reacting to me in ways that makes me want to scream, “OMG, PEOPLE. GIVE ME A BREAK.”

If you’re a woman with resting bitch face, then you know the struggle is real. Here are 16 things that we have to contend with… and each one is equal in its annoyance.

  1. You’re constantly asked if you’re OK. For the last time, I’m fine. I’m fine
  2. People randomly offer up their support or condolences. “If you ever need to talk, I’m here for you.” Do you get that a lot? I do. And it’s like, I barely know you, please, don’t do that.
  3. It’s just assumed you always have a lot on your plate. Which is sometimes true, but I could be on vacation with my phone off and people around me still tread lightly, as if they don’t want to add to whatever the hell else is going on in my life.
  4. The interns in your office fear you. So trying to get them to help is either near-impossible because they run and hide or they’re overly helpful, to the point of annoyance, so as to avoid dealing with your possible bitchiness.
  5. People want to hug you all the time. For starters, if hugging made anyone feel better, the world would never stop hugging. Secondly, don’t do that. I’m fine. Really.
  6. You’re known as the bitchy one in the office. Keep in mind, there’s no evidence to back this up. It’s just how it is.
  7. Making friends can be tricky. Between being a pariah in the office and the way the people in your apartment building view you, it’s like your chances of making friends as an adult are zero to nil.
  8. People often think you’re bored. Which, depending on the topic, you might be. But also, you could be really engaged in the conversation.
  9. When things go well, people think you’re still pissed. But you’re not. You’re happy, but you’re smiling on the inside.
  10. “Are you mad at me?” is the sentence you’ve heard most in your life. While you’d like to think people have outgrown that inquiry, they haven’t and it’s annoying, and no, you’re not mad at them. Why does everyone keep asking?
  11. Trying to meet people at a bar just isn’t happening. If first impressions are everything, then you just automatically look like a bitch.
  12. Your Tinder profile gets a lot of responses from dudes telling you to smile. Because it’s not bad enough that you get it every time you walk from your apartment to the bodega from the neighborhood guys who clearly don’t have anything else better to do with their time.
  13. You take sarcasm to a level that can’t be understood. Even your friends have to ask you if you’re serious, because your resting bitch face is THAT good.
  14. You’re the one in group photos who always stands out. You know, because everyone else is smiling and having a good time, and your face is just, well, your face and smiling isn’t your scene. But you’re having a great time! Really!
  15. When you do smile, it freaks out of everyone. Not only do people back away, but they’re also shocked by how lovely and perfect your teeth are… or that you even have any teeth because people rarely get to see them.
  16. You’re constantly exhausted by those who surround you. Why? Because they’re injecting their own insecurities on you and just won’t let you live your resting bitch face existence without 30 questions.
Amanda Chatel is a sexual health, mental health, and wellness journalist with more than a decade of experience. Her work has been featured in Shape, Glamour, SELF, Harper's Bazaar, The Atlantic, Forbes, Elle, Mic, Men's Health and Bustle, where she was a lifestyle writer for seven years. In 2019, The League included Amanda in their "15 Inspirational Feminists Every Single Person Should Follow on Twitter" list.

Amanda has a bachelor's degree in English and master's degree in Creative Writing from the University of New Hampshire. She divides her time between NYC, Paris, and Barcelona.

You can follow her on Instagram @la_chatel or on Twitter @angrychatel.