There are lots of ways to seduce someone, at least according to rom-coms. But what about in the real world, where stakes are high and no one wants to feel awkward or be embarrassed? While the idea of seduction may make you cringe a bit, here’s how to seduce someone in the real world and make them putty in your hands.
Be confident. I know everyone always says you should be yourself, but it’s just important to be confident in yourself. Confidence is the easiest way to be sexually attractive. Even if you’re a terrible person, confidence is a real eye-catcher in the dating world. That’s why we were all brought up on the sex appeal of a bad boy even though we grow up and realize the depressing reality of unwashed hair, Mommy issues, and hollow ambition.
Have your best jokes at the ready. It’s always good to have a plan up your sleeve, particularly if that plan involves humor. Humor is the best and fastest way to someone’s heart. Yes, you can cook for them, but by showing them your sense of humor, you can really demonstrate that you understand them. Humor and solid conversation starters indicate someone’s level of intelligence and compatibility, as well as your shared interests. It’s a really efficient way of seducing someone intellectually.
Maintain eye contact. If there was one single top tip that I could insist upon, it’s eye contact. It’s intense for a reason, and movies always show the slow-motion version of the moment when the two star-crossed lovers finally meet. In the real world, this moment is precious because it feels like the world stops too. Don’t be the one to break eye contact, but if you do, do it with a knowing smirk as you walk away. You just know they’ll be hanging on your every word all evening by establishing the right body language.
Play hard to get. I can see half of you rolling your eyes at me already, but hear me out. By not showing your cards straight away, you retain the sense of mystery. Let them come to you and ask you out or pursue you. There’s nothing people want more than what they can’t have — that’s an unwritten rule.
Be unavailable. This isn’t about whether someone can physically see you or not. It’s much more subliminal than that. You can be out but at a different party or “busy” but posting on Instagram. You can create this space of magical unknowns about you. Be unavailable but always visible, just out of reach. By being seen and being public but not being able to connect emotionally or intimately, you’re showing the person you’re seducing that they will have to work to get to know you. You know your worth and you aren’t about to offer up company secrets on the first date.
Ask for your friends’ advice. They will have lots of experience across a variety of contexts about how to attract the right guy. Some of them will know how to get the attention of nerdy types, while others will specialize in the jocks and band geeks. You can cover a range of experiences and gain intel on how to seduce the right person for you without having to make the mistakes yourself. It’s a great bonding game with your friends too.
Take some space. While you want to be busy and public, you should also take time for yourself. Consider what it is you want out of this seduction project. Do you want a long-term partner or just someone to keep you warm in the winter months without much commitment? By asking yourself these questions now, you can align expectations and set a good foundation for your future together, whatever it looks like.
Be indifferent. Whether or not the person you are trying to seduce represents your first or fifth crush, never act too interested. Firstly, it keeps them wanting more, and secondly, it protects you. Show the person you’re seducing that they don’t just get you because they want you. They have to earn your time. Show them how hard they have to work to deserve you by knowing your worth and not caring too much. Easier said than done, but it’s good practice.
Focus on common interests. If you’re not a talker or he’s too shy, focus on common interests. Alight your respective passions and you’ll see each other in a wholesome, earnest light. That’s what will ignite the passion within the relationship, as well as the desire to see each other again. The personality side of things is more important in some ways than the physical seduction: you have to want to talk to your crush, after all.
Embrace what makes you hot. You don’t need to look like a supermodel or a movie star to be hot. In fact, sometimes the sexiest qualities are the ones you know you have and that you’re not afraid to show off. Much of the art of seduction is about believing that you’re in a position of power in which to reel the other person in. That starts by embracing the unique qualities that make you so badass.
Read the book on their bedside table. It shows you’re interested in what they’re interested in, as well as that you’re willing to open up your mind and peer into their world. If you don’t know what the book on their bedside is, get in the bed and find out. It’s for research purposes, yeah?