There’s An Epidemic Of Men Who Don’t Know How To Handle Emotions & It’s Not OK

Men have never been well-known for their communication skills and emotional vulnerability, and it feels like the problem isn’t improving. Guys are supposedly more in touch with their feelings now than they used to be, but it sure doesn’t seem like it. It’s always the same BS and it’s getting very old.

  1. Most of them don’t think, they just do. It’s the most exasperating thing to realize that guys really do just go ahead and do what they feel without giving it the least bit of forethought. They end up leaving broken hearts in their wake left and right because they don’t realize until too late that their actions speak louder than words. It’s unconscionable.
  2. Many of them never consider the feelings of others. Everything would be fine if they just communicated what they wanted. Even if they said that they were confused and they didn’t know what they wanted, it would be more honest than saying nothing at all and giving false impressions. It’s incredibly inconsiderate and hurtful. It wouldn’t take much effort to be more careful, but apparently that’s too much to ask.
  3. It feels like they’re only OK as long as everything remains superficial. Things are fine and dandy as long as they don’t have to venture into that scary adult land of dealing with and acknowledging emotions. They don’t ever want to get too deep or personal—they can’t handle it. When stuff gets real, they’re out. It’s too bad that they usually lead people on for a long while first.
  4. Some of them have very little self-awareness. This problem goes hand-in-hand with the fact that they just plow ahead without thinking. They don’t understand how they come across, and very frequently they end up misleading people. It’s unfair and they should really take some time to figure themselves out. They need to focus inward.
  5. Too many of them struggle to express the simplest things. They can’t speak to their feelings, probably because they don’t have any idea how to deal with them. If they are required to get real, they freeze up and suddenly it’s like they’re paralyzed. They can’t help it because they don’t know any better, but that doesn’t make it less frustrating.
  6. Pretty much all of them are basically giant children. They really are. Maybe they were told to suppress their emotions as young boys and now they don’t know how else to operate. They only want to have fun so that they don’t have to face anything real and they find it very inconvenient when anyone tries to make them do otherwise.
  7. They tend to freak out when asked to communicate. It seems like communication is the hardest task for humans to accomplish successfully, and men have an especially tough time with it. Everything’s peachy as long as they don’t have to express their deepest thoughts, hopes, and fears. It’s not easy for anyone, but it’s still necessary.
  8. The vast majority of them literally cannot process their feelings. Society is partially to blame. So are parents, and peers, and yes, the women who have hurt them. Men are much more damaged by heartache than they will ever admit because they were never taught how to grow and heal from the pain. It’s a terrible shame. They can’t get over it, so they bottle it up and let it suffocate them.
  9. They usually shut down at the slightest sign of complication. Ever date a man and as soon as the going gets tough, he can’t hang anymore? Yeah, that’s a story every person can understand. It’s because it happens all too often. It’s really difficult to know in the beginning whether they’ll have any staying power.
  10. They’ve been taught to shutter their hearts and don’t know how to change. The way that children are raised as far as gender norms are concerned is slowly changing, and that’s a great thing. Unfortunately, the generation of men who are adults right now did not get that flexibility, and they are at a complete loss.
  11. A lot of them toy with the feelings of others and hardly even understand the effects. They just go flailing about and wreaking havoc on the emotions of those who care about them, and then they’re confused when people get upset. It’s amazing how naive guys can be about how they affect the lives of those around them.
  12. They can be like kryptonite and poison all at once. The worst thing about emotionally unavailable men is that they’re dangerously tempting. They’re like a puzzle just waiting to be solved, a challenge waiting to be conquered. They tend to be charming and intelligent and even sensitive sometimes.
  13. So many of them are walking red flags for anyone who wants something healthy and real. It’s true—as tempting as they may be, a lot of them are trouble. It’s discouraging to date man after man and find that they are all out of touch with their emotions, but that doesn’t mean settling is the answer.
  14. The toxic ones are so prevalent that it seems virtually impossible to find an emotionally mature man. Yes, the evolved guys are out there, but they’re a rare commodity. Just think about how exciting and fulfilling it will be when you find the man who not only accepts you as you are but knows how to accept himself as well. Use that hope to keep on trying, searching and striving!
A former actress who has always loved the art of the written word, Amy is excited to be here sharing her stories! She just completed her first novel, and is also a contributor for Elite Daily, Dirty & Thirty, and Thought Catalog. Amy is the founder of What If Journey and can be found on Twitter @amyhorton18. You can also visit her website at