There’s A Huge Difference Between Dating A Nice Guy & Dating A Pushover

Every grown woman wants (and deserves) a nice guy — what you DON’T want is to date a guy who’s SO nice, he’s actually a pushover. It’s time we understand the definitive differences between the two. Here’s what an actual nice guy will offer you:

  1. He’ll have your back but won’t follow you blindly. A nice guy will have your back, supporting and lifting you up, while a pushover will trail behind you like a lost puppy. If he’s caring and loyal but still has a backbone, think twice before writing him off.
  2. He’ll prioritize your needs without forgetting his. In a world where everyone is only looking out for themselves, why wouldn’t you want to be with a selfless man who focuses on you? If he’s willing to make you a priority but refuses to forget himself in the process, you’ve got yourself a keeper! Don’t forget to reciprocate — the best relationships are between two people who focus on each other’s needs as well as their own.
  3. He’s understanding but does have boundaries. We all have our moments and a nice guy will completely understand when you have yours. He’s patient and accepting, but he does have a line and isn’t afraid to tell you when you cross it. Don’t confuse his kindness with weakness and know that the term “nice guy” isn’t synonymous with “doormat.”
  4. He’ll let you take the lead but isn’t afraid of action. A relationship shouldn’t be one-sided. You two are meant to be partners, working together and taking turns leading the way. Just as you shouldn’t follow a man blindly, neither should he trail behind you. A nice guy isn’t afraid of letting his woman take the lead, but he sure as hell won’t shy away from action, either.
  5. He’ll do you favors but won’t be pushed around. His goal is to make you smile and he genuinely enjoys doing things for you. But, while he’s happy to do you favors, he refuses to be walked all over. It’s a balancing act and it’s got it down perfectly.
  6. He’s close to his family but isn’t a mama’s boy. I’ve learned my lesson: I will never again date a man who isn’t good to his mom because chances are, he’ll end up treating me the same way. That said, I also refuse to let someone’s parents control our relationship and our future together. The best kind of man is one who loves and respects his family, but stands on his own two feet and understands boundaries.
  7. He wants to see you but isn’t needy. He likes you, so of course he wants to spend time with you! But, while a nice guy is enthusiastic about seeing you, a pushover is just downright desperate. A good boyfriend always makes your time together fun and valuable but doesn’t freak out if you’re busy or want to hang out with your girls sometimes.
  8. He isn’t afraid to apologize but won’t go overboard and grovel. I don’t believe that anyone truly likes apologizing, but doing so once in a while is necessary to make a relationship last. You want to be with someone who can swallow their pride and admit when they’re wrong, but it’s a huge turn-off to hear a guy say it constantly. Once he’s genuinely apologized for something he’s done wrong, you just want to move on rather than dwell on something that’s old news.
  9. He won’t seek out conflict but isn’t afraid to speak up. Only a-holes go looking for a fight. A nice guy doesn’t want drama and does his best to keep the peace but isn’t afraid to speak up if need be. Learn the difference between assertive and passive and you’ll understand what sets apart a nice guy from a pushover.
Kait is a freelance writer and digital marketing coordinator living in Toronto. She's the founder and managing of Spark Social Agency. You can find her on Twitter @kaitshiels.