There’s No Such Thing As “Bad Timing” If You’re Meant To Be

If there’s one cliche line that I’m sick to death of hearing from guys I date, it’s this: “I’m sorry, it’s just bad timing.” Ugh! It’s a ridiculous and completely invalid excuse that I wish we could just ban from the dating world completely. If you find someone amazing, you realize how lucky you are and you don’t want to lose them, so you go for it, circumstances be damned. If he doesn’t believe that, he’s obviously not ready for a real relationship.

  1. Timing has absolutely nothing to do with love. Love is an emotion — it’s a feeling that you can’t control or force. It’s not something you can put off and do later. When you love someone, you have absolutely no damn say in it, and maybe that’s how it should be.
  2. Your life is never going to be as settled as you think. When exactly will you be ready for love? You might be imagining this wonderful future when your life is completely settled and you can finally make a little time for love, but that mythical era does not exist. Life is full of unexpected twists and turns — that’s what makes it interesting. If the time’s not right now, it never will be.
  3. The right guy will always make time for you. When you meet the right guy for you, he’ll want to spend his free time with you. He’ll actively make time for you even if it’s only an hour here or there. Do you want to know why? Because you’re a priority in his life and he wants you to know it. No one’s too busy 24/7 — if it matters, there’ll be room for it.
  4. “Bad timing” is usually just an excuse for commitment-phobia. When he says that it’s “bad timing” to be coupled up, what he really means is that he’s not ready to prioritize this relationship. If he’s wanting to play the field and prefers casual hookups over meaningful long-term relationships, that’s fine, but he needs to just come out and say that rather than acting like he’s the victim of some terrible circumstance.
  5. A relationship doesn’t stop you from living your life. Saying that it’s “bad timing” means that he thinks a relationship will change him or encroach on his life in some big, terrible way. He believes that somehow, by being with you, he’ll have to completely change everything he says and does, all of his habits and hobbies, just to be your boyfriend. WTF? Relationships aren’t prison sentences, and you’re no warden. You have your own life, too, so he needs to get a grip.
  6. Love is about building a life together. When you choose to have a relationship with someone, you start to build a life with them. It doesn’t matter what drama is going on elsewhere in your life — the two of you are together now. It really is that simple. Telling you that it’s “bad timing” for a relationship implies that he’s got a lot going on in life that he doesn’t want you to be part of. There are always going to be tough times in life — it’s relationships that sometimes make those times a little more bearable.
  7. People in relationships are there to support each other through the hard times. The right guy will help you out and hold you up when things get messy just as you do for him. If he thinks having a lot going on in life, isn’t this kind of the perfect time to welcome a healthy, loving relationship into the mix to lighten the load a bit? What’s so hard about that?
  8. If he doesn’t try now, he’ll probably regret it. If he’s silly enough to let you go, he really is going to look back and regret it. Love doesn’t come around often, and when it does, you have to hold onto it. The last thing he should want is to let a great woman walk out of his life when you could have made it so much better. Oh well — if it’s “bad timing,” that’s just his loss.
Charlotte is a freelance writer who's addicted to binge-watching TV, drinking far too much coffee, and writing articles.