Having a vagina is a really exciting thing. For starters, it’s far prettier than a penis, the way it’s all tucked up inside like a perfect work of art, and it’s home to the clitoris. The clitoris is the greatest part of the human body; not just because it’s an orgasm-inducing organ, but also because it’s the only organ that is there strictly for pleasure. On the whole, the vagina is a badass, awesome, and insanely fantastic part of the body.
But awesomeness aside, it doesn’t stop women from having ridiculous fears about their vagina. It’s only normal to have concerns, especially when it’s your most prized body part, but some are just so out in the left field we need to debunk them right now. So what are some of those irrational worries women have about their vaginas?
That it smells wonky.
All vaginas smell, and while some have a stronger scent than others, I can assure you, none of them smell like roses. But would you really want your vagina to smell like a rose? No! Roses smell like roses, cupcakes smell like cupcakes, and vaginas smell like vaginas.
That it’s weird looking.
As I said above, all vaginas are a work of art, no matter what they look like. Yes, they all look different, but I’m pretty sure no one wants their vagina to look exactly like another woman’s vagina. You want it to be unique.
That vagina dentata is real.
Maybe this is just me, but after seeing Teeth, I developed the irrational fear that my vag was going to grow some teeth and rip off the next penis that entered it. Granted, some of those penises deserved to be ripped off and the fear was fleeting, but man oh man, was that a rough couple of days.
That the labium is too big.
Vaginas have two labia, and one is larger than the other and that’s the way it’s supposed to be. However, some women have longer labium than others, while others have shorter ones ― that’s just how it is. Unless your labia are down to your knees, worrying about it being too long is silly and a waste of your precious time.
That it’s too hairy.
That whole region down there is supposed to be hairy. If you don’t wax, then it’s hairy. It’s not too hairy, because ― imagine this ― your body grows the appropriate amount of hair that’s right for it.
That it tastes gross.
Think about it this way: If it tasted gross, would your partner be willing to lap it up all the time? Yes, it can taste different throughout your menstrual cycle or because of your diet, but it doesn’t taste gross.
That every itch is an STI.
Every sexually active woman, at one time or another, has thought for sure she’s had an STI. It’s just a normal worry, but the irrational worry is that every itch is an STI.
That it gets too wet.
You can never, ever be too wet. In fact, the wetter the better and you save money on lube!
That it doesn’t get wet enough.
Some women have a hard time getting wet during arousal, but it’s not something to stress over. It doesn’t mean you’re not excited; it just means your need some extra help from your pharmacy.
That it can lose things in it forever.
Even if you’ve never had the misfortune of temporarily losing a condom or sex toy in your vagina, it’s still an irrational worry we all have, because OMG! WHAT IF IT STAYS IN THERE FOREVER?! It can’t and it wont’.
That it can run out of orgasms.
It’s not gonna happen, but we definitely all worry it will.
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