Why There’s No Such Thing As Bad Timing When It Comes To Love

When a relationship comes to an end, it’s easy to tell yourself things like, “It’s was bad timing” or “It just wasn’t meant to be.” It’s in these statements that we can convince ourselves that everything is going to be OK and when the time is “right,” things will fall into place. But here’s the kicker: There’s no such thing as bad timing. There just isn’t. If you believe in bad timing, then you also believe that the world is perfect and uniquely laid out for you, but somehow you were either too late or too early to the party. It’s the type of thinking that quells a broken heart and makes being — god forbid ― single, feel palatable. But it’s a lie; it’s a total lie and let me tell you why.

  1. There’s no perfect timing. Life isn’t perfect and neither are human beings. Because that’s the case, timing isn’t perfect and in not being perfect, it can’t be bad or wrong either. Trying to convince yourself otherwise is a weak move on your part; if a relationship doesn’t work out it has nothing to do with time and everything to do with the two people involved.
  2. There’s no such thing as fate. I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but fate is something created by romantics so they can sleep at night. There’s no laid out plan ahead of you because your future is what you make of it. With each breath, you create your own life; it wasn’t already created for you. If you’re creating your life as you go, how can your timing being bad?
  3. Everything happens for a reason. As much as that might seem like it conflicts with the no fate thing, it doesn’t. We make the choices we make in life because reason is part of our biological makeup. Human beings reason things (or don’t reason things), and what one chooses is based on that reason. A relationship not working out isn’t about timing, but choices made because of reason.
  4. Challenges are just part of the game. In an imperfect world with imperfect people, we’re constantly being thrown curve balls. We can either decide to step into the line of it and catch it, or put down our pitcher’s mitt and let it pass. It we decide to catch it, then we make a go of it; that has nothing to do with timing and everything to do with taking a chance.
  5. It’s a total cop-out. Relationships are about effort, communication, and love; they’re not about timing. To claim that what you have with another person dissolved because of bad timing is an injustice to you both. If you really wanted it, you would have found a way to make it happen.
  6. No one is ever really ready. Love is something that happens to us, and sometimes when we least expect it. Saying that timing is wrong is suggesting that you’re more ready at certain points in your life to be in a relationship than others. Again, that’s a cop-out. No one is really ready  and isn’t that part of the fun?
Amanda Chatel is a sexual health, mental health, and wellness journalist with more than a decade of experience. Her work has been featured in Shape, Glamour, SELF, Harper's Bazaar, The Atlantic, Forbes, Elle, Mic, Men's Health and Bustle, where she was a lifestyle writer for seven years. In 2019, The League included Amanda in their "15 Inspirational Feminists Every Single Person Should Follow on Twitter" list.

Amanda has a bachelor's degree in English and master's degree in Creative Writing from the University of New Hampshire. She divides her time between NYC, Paris, and Barcelona.

You can follow her on Instagram @la_chatel or on Twitter @angrychatel.