Life can be unpredictable at the best of times, and while you’d like to think you’re in control of everything, the truth is, some stuff is out of your hands. It makes sense to be scared or anxious sometimes — you’re only human, after all — but if you’re letting these fears get the better of you, you could be keeping yourself from being truly happy.
- The fear of wasting time. Between hustling at your career, finding the perfect partner, and being around for your family and friends, you feel pressure to be constantly on the go in case you don’t accomplish enough in a day. You need to kick this thought out of your head right now. Personal time isn’t wasted time. Take some time for you and stop feeling guilty about it.
- The fear that doing what you love won’t make you any money. Life isn’t going to be better because your bank balance is high. Maybe you can buy the clothes you want and go on the vacations you want, but if the majority of your time is spent hating your job and daydreaming about things you actually enjoy, there’s a problem. You have to be practical, but that doesn’t mean giving up on your passions.
- The fear that your partner will leave you. This fear can make us crazy. It leads you to overanalyze everything about your relationship. He said he’s going to see his parents this weekend and he didn’t invite me. Is he going to leave me? What will I do with my life? Most of the time, these fears have no basis. And even if your partner does leave you, it wouldn’t be the end of the world. You survived up to this point, and you’ll survive after.
- The fear of not getting the job.Sometimes you’ll look at a job and think, “I only have 8 months of experience and this job calls for a year.” So you don’t apply for it… because of a 4-month difference. Who knows how many jobs that you may have had or at least interviewed for if you hadn’t been afraid. If the worst answer they can give you is “no”, then being afraid is just plain stupid.
- The fear of quitting a soul-crushing job. You’re smart, experienced, and a quick learner, but you’re paralyzed by the fear of quitting a job you hate. What if you don’t find anything else? Take a deep breath. You need to realize how valuable you are. You can absolutely find something that doesn’t destroy your will to live. Plus, taking the leap without knowing the outcome is much better than doing nothing at all.
- The fear of meeting new people. You’re happy with your run group, your work team and your best friends, and meeting new people is hard. But this fear can keep you from making meaningful connections with people who can advance your career, be great friends or even your soulmate. For the most part, people aren’t going to bite. And, if you don’t like them after you meet them, fake numbers always do the trick.
- The fear of standing up for what you believe in. Do you ever go to a packed movie theatre and find that some punk teenager is “saving” the whole front row? How many times have you skulked away complaining? Next time, tell him to suck it up and sit down. Not expressing how we feel will lead to anger or guilt. If you don’t sit in those seats, you’re going to complain to your friends for the rest of the evening. Not worth it. And, let’s be real, we all revere the person who doesn’t put up with BS.
- The fear of judgment. We all want to be well-liked, and sometimes that makes us do things that aren’t really us. We’re so concerned about not being judged in a negative way that we mold to a stereotype of who we should be. But the sooner you aren’t afraid of who you are, the sooner you will live for you. A guaranteed path to happiness.
- The fear of not having any money.Financial risks can make you do really crazy things. It can often seem like money is the cause behind many of your problems: the inability to be in the house you want, wear the clothes you want, do the things you want. But you often don’t have money because you spend on the wrong things. Set priorities and use your cash to go after them.
- The fear of letting go.You hold on to grudges, people, ideas for entire lifetimes. Letting them go seems foreign and unnatural, but not letting go makes you get upset at trivial conversations and causes anxiety about meaningless encounters (i.e. that time you ran into your ex and his new girlfriend). Learning to let go will immediately take a weight off your shoulders and allow you to live the life you’ve always imagined.