These 10 Things Signaled That I Was Finally Over My Ex

If the thought of your ex-boyfriend makes you consider spending the rest of your life in prison to get rid of him, there’s a pretty good chance that you’re not totally over him. I knew I was over my ex when his face didn’t make me want to die and when I wasn’t obsessed with the idea of us “still being friends.” Not only did I not want to kill him, I didn’t hate him anymore and these things were true too:

  1. Our relationship made me smile. I knew I was over my ex when I could think about the relationship without feeling nauseous. Instead of breaking down into a million tears and crying, I felt fine. I could laugh at the jokes we shared and I could smile at all the memories. I knew I was over my ex when I could actually remember the good times as much as I could remember the bad.
  2. I “liked” his social media stuff and meant it. I knew I was over my ex when I could follow him on social media for the right reasons. Instead of checking his Instagram every night and stalking everyone who commented on his posts, I used our social media relationship for good, not evil. If he posted something cool, I’d like it… but I wouldn’t go through his 2011 feed and like every picture in an attempt to get his attention.
  3. He didn’t dominate my thoughts. I knew I was over my ex when I stopped thinking about him all the time. I didn’t even realize I had stopped. One day, it hit me that I hadn’t thought about him in weeks and that made me feel amazing. I wasn’t forcing him out of my thoughts, he just wasn’t in them. I was over him.
  4. The thought of him didn’t make me want to commit murder. I knew I was over my ex when on the off chance he DID pop into my mind, I didn’t want to scream or hunt him down. I didn’t care if I randomly thought about him because I knew it was natural; we were together and we had something special, there’s no reason I shouldn’t think of him from time to time.
  5. I was proud of his accomplishments. I knew I was over my ex when his success didn’t jolt me. When I heard he got the dream job he’d always wanted, I genuinely felt happy for him. I wasn’t upset that he was doing so well without me in his life, I applauded his efforts and growth.
  6. Seeing him didn’t hurt. I knew I was over my ex when I ran into him at a bar with another girl and my stomach didn’t drop. Granted, I didn’t run up to him and strike up a conversation. I waved, I smiled, and I left—not because I was hurt but because I didn’t need to inject myself into a life that had nothing to do with me anymore.
  7. I didn’t care if people talked about him. I knew I was over my ex when I didn’t care whether my friends talked to him. In the beginning of the breakup, I hated knowing my friends spent time with my ex but after a while, I didn’t really care. It’s not like they were gossiping about me and spending their weekends discussing me in any way. They were friends and once I’d accepted that—really accepted that—I knew I was actually over the relationship.
  8. I was dating other guys. I knew I was over my ex when I could date other guys without thinking about my ex. Not only was I not comparing him to every guy I spent time with but I was seeing guys without wanting the news to get back to my ex. I wasn’t telling my friends about every guy I met so that they’d run to my ex and whisper the news in his ear. I kept my business on the low where it belonged.
  9. I didn’t hate him anymore. I knew I was over my ex when I stopped hating him. I stopped blaming him for why the relationship ended and I stopped thinking of “if only” scenarios—if only he had said this, did this, or acted this way. It didn’t matter anymore.
  10. His glow-up made me feel okay. I knew I was over my ex when his glow up didn’t make me feel like I missed a good thing. Yes, it stung that my ex-boyfriend decided to lose weight and start taking better care of himself after we broke up. Yes, it made me feel like I was the one who was holding him back from living his best life. But then I realized I had nothing to do with his glow up, it was all him. As people, we’re constantly changing—who he was with me isn’t who he is now. So, I’m okay with his glow up—it just means he’s growing.
  11. I didn’t want to get back together with him. I knew I was over my ex when I didn’t want to get back together with him anymore. Even after he told my friends he was interested in me again, and even after he texted me asking to hang out, I didn’t budge. I had the epiphany; I knew I didn’t want a relationship with him anymore because I didn’t want him anymore. I was over it all. Finally.
Jordan White is a writer based in Scottsdale, Arizona with more than 8 years of experience. She graduated from Northern Arizona University with a degree in Rhetoric and Creative Writing in 2015 and while there, she wrote for The Daily Wildcat. She has since written for sites including FanBread, and, of course, Bolde. You can find about more her on Facebook. She has a passion for giving her audience something to laugh about and despises the heat more than anything.