These Are The New Ways Guys Are Standing You Up

Back in the day, if your date stood you up, you only found out once you’d already made it to the bar or restaurant. Then you had to feel totally humiliated as you waited… and waited… and realized that he just wasn’t showing up. Today, technology has helped create a variety of methods for guys to stand you up, and none of them are any more pleasant than the old-fashioned way:

  1. They unmatch you on Tinder. Oh Tinder. It makes bailing on someone super easy, and that can make your love life (or your attempt at having one) totally miserable. Sometimes you have the unfortunate experience of chatting with a guy on the app and making a plan, and then he unmatches you. He’s sending the very clear signal that he has no interest in actually showing up for the date. Since you hadn’t exchanged phone numbers before he unmatched you, you have zero way of contacting him. Perfect (for him).
  2. They cancel last minute. You don’t get why someone would make a date if they’re just going to cancel an hour before, but the world is a mysterious place. If you’re dating in this day and age, this has probably happened to you at least a few times.
  3. They make plans a week in advance and then bail. You try to be accommodating and realize that sometimes you have to wait a week or two before meeting someone that you’ve been talking to. But time and time again, these guys make plans super far in advance… and end up cancelling. It’s like they think if the date is far in the future, they can go, but once it gets closer, they totally freak out.
  4. They say they’ll “get back to you.” There’s nothing worse than chatting with a seemingly decent guy online — the kind of guy that you maybe, just maybe, would want to actually meet in person — and then things get weird. When you bring up meeting for drinks, he says he would love to but needs to get back to you about exactly when. He’s just so busy. Of course, you never hear from him again. Why did he say yes in the first place?
  5. They don’t give you their number. You’ve learned the hard way that unless a guy gives you his phone number, the first date is most likely not happening. After all, you need a way to contact him if you’re running late or something comes up and you have to cancel. Or, you know, if you just can’t find him in a super crowded bar. When you give a guy your number but he doesn’t reciprocate or doesn’t send you a pre-date text, then you know you’re spending another night alone.
  6. They refuse to confirm. It can be tough to figure out if you actually have a first date these days. Sure, you can try to see the best in people and think that if you made the plan, it’s going to happen. But it’s a good idea to confirm just in case since you’ve been cancelled on so many times. Sometimes, though, you double-check to make sure the date is still on and never receive a reply. You wish he would’ve at least had the balls to actually cancel.
  7. They message you but you can’t read it. Here’s the sketchiest way a guy can stand you up (in a digital sense, of course): he sends you a message on a dating app or site. The only problem? You can’t read it. He messages you, then unmatches you so all you’re left with is a blank screen. You have to wonder if he did this on purpose to really mess with your head or if he doesn’t know how these things actually work. You can only assume that he was cancelling on you.
  8. They act super vague. Whether you’re trying to make a second date happen or you’ve never met this guy in person, sometimes you chat with a guy forever who just won’t pick a time and place. Every time you ask if you can grab drinks next week, he says “we’ll figure something out,” or “maybe,” or (the killer) “we’ll see.” This is just another way of saying, “It’s not happening.”
  9. They ghost before the first date even happens. This is probably the best (and worst) way that a guy can stand you up. Everything went according to plan. You have a date. You have each other’s numbers. You’ve said you were looking forward to meeting each other. Then one day you text him and… nothing. Absolutely nothing. At this point, being single forever doesn’t sound like such a terrible option after all.
Aya Tsintziras is a freelance lifestyle writer and editor from Toronto, Canada. In addition to writing about dating and relationships for Bolde, she also writes about movies, TV, and video games for ScreenRant and GameRant. She has a Political Science degree from the University of Toronto and a Masters of Journalism from Ryerson University. You can find her on Twitter @ayatsintziras and on Instagram @aya.tsintziras.