You’re posing for the camera and making your sexiest, poutiest face. Suddenly, you’ve just taken the worst selfie ever! I hate to be the one to tell you that those “sexy” faces you’re making are scaring the hell out of guys (and most non-selfie obsessed women). You might just be following the latest Instagram trends or you’re showing of your personality, but whatever you’re doing, just please stop now. Imagine how a guy feels if he’s seeing this in a dating profile or coming down his social media feeds. Make a few of these tragic selfie mistakes and you might just leave guys with nightmares.
The duck face.
It’s a classic that’s never going to die. I don’t know who the hell started this and I don’t care. Unless you’re trying to make an obviously silly selfie, don’t try to over-pucker your lips into a duck bill. It’s not sexy. Honestly, this isn’t sexy on anyone ever. Of course, I guess ducks might like it.
The “Look, I’m driving!” selfie.
Go ahead and prove the “women are horrible drivers” stereotype. Not only is it dangerous, but no one needs to see a selfie of you while you’re driving. No guy wants to date a woman that’s that irresponsible. After all, if you’re so self-absorbed that you need to snap a selfie behind the wheel, you’re not going to pay attention to him, anyway.
The shocked face.
The only ones who are shocked are the ones looking at it. Seriously, we don’t know what to think. Why is your mouth hanging open? Why are your eyes ridiculously wide? Guys see this and imagine that’s what you’ll look like the first time you see him naked, and it’s not a good thing.
Overdone or runny makeup.
Stage performers have to wear extra makeup to be seen by the audience. Your phone is literally inches from your face, so you don’t need to follow suit. In fact, use a little less. All those supposedly sexy selfies with caked on eye shadow and liner – or even worse, the post gym selfie with runny makeup – are absolutely terrifying. I’m sorry, but most guys aren’t interested in a woman who’s going to leave an imprint of her face on his pillow.
The selfie taken from above your head.
Take a good look at your selfies before posting them. Taking the selfie above your head, especially so you get the down the cleavage shot, doesn’t make anyone look good. It just makes your head seem massive and your body insanely tiny. It doesn’t make you look slimmer. It just makes you look a little crazy, which always scares guys off.
The desperate girlfriend smile.
We’ve all seen the meme of the desperate girlfriend. This is what your selfies look like when you’re trying for the overly happy, please love me smile. I’m not a guy, but even I jump back from my screen when I see one of these. Honestly, it’s like the smile is going to jump off the screen and bite me.
Unless you’re a professional image editor, skip Photoshop. It’s always easy to tell when you’ve tried to edit your photos to get rid of a few flaws or make your lips look bigger. Usually these are more hilarious than terrifying, but it’s still going to turn guys off.
The Miley Cyrus selfie.
Your tongue goes in your mouth. No one wants to see how far you can stick your tongue out. It’s not attractive when she does it, so don’t copy her. All you’re doing is reminding guys of Gene Simmons, and that’s not what they want to see when they look at a woman.
Having food in your teeth.
Please look in a mirror before taking a selfie. Better yet, check the selfie before posting it. I can’t tell you how many selfies I’ve seen where woman have food stuck in their teeth. Unless you’re doing it on purpose as a joke, make sure your teeth are clean first.
Selfies in strange places.
No more bathroom selfies. I don’t think I really need to say more here.
The way too revealing selfie.
Yes, we all get the point. Your boobs are trying to eat your phone and you’ve shrunk all your clothes at least three sizes. Some guys might find this sexy. Most just think it makes you look desperate or more interested in hookups than a relationship.
Trying to look intense.
I know you think it makes you look sexy and like you’re thinking about something incredibly smart, but it usually just looks like you’re constipated. I’ve yet to meet anyone who thinks constipation is hot.
The “come hither” face.
Just smile for the camera like normal and stop trying to make bedroom eyes. Don’t attempt the sexy smirk or pouty lips. The more you try to pose with a sexy face, the more ridiculous it looks. If you really want to post these, at least ask a male friend if it looks right or not.
Adding extras to the picture.
This really depends on where you’re posting the selfie. If it’s just something fun on Instagram, it’s fine to have your pet in the picture. If you’re posting it to an online dating site or app, having kids or pets posing with you isn’t going to help your chances. Remember, it’s called a selfie. It’s supposed to be a picture of you.
We’ve all made selfie mistakes. Some of us have learned, while others keep making the same mistakes over and over again. You can take better selfies. Just avoid any of the above and you’re off to a good start.
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