Putting in effort with someone who doesn’t care about you is exhausting, draining, and heartbreaking. While it can be upsetting to find out the truth, the best thing you can do is learn how to identify a person who doesn’t care about you, so you can dump them ASAP. Here are a few classic things a guy does when he doesn’t care about you at all because you deserve better.
- Cancels on you at the last minute Canceling on your plans at the last minute can demonstrate a huge lack of respect. Sometimes, things come up and you can’t help the situation. That’s fine. But when a guy frequently bails, he doesn’t really care about you or see you as a priority. This is even more true if he doesn’t apologize or explain why he’s canceling. Your wasted time means nothing to him.
- Only responds when he feels like it If he’s only responding when he feels like it, you know for a fact that you’re not a priority. It’s pretty rude to ignore someone’s message, especially if you’re supposed to be dating that person. This shows that he doesn’t even have basic respect for you. If a guy did care about you and your feelings, he would talk to you like a normal person—not every few days when he gets around to it.
- Doesn’t initiate conversation When one person is initiating all the conversation, it’s pretty telling of where the other person stands. A relationship should be a two-way street with effort coming from both sides. If he never initiates any conversations with you, it shows that talking to you is just not a priority of his. And it would be if he cared about you.
- Ignores you when you need help or support It’s normal to help and support your loved ones. Think about the people you really care about. If they asked you for support, would you have any hesitations about helping them out? Probably not. Even when it’s inconvenient, we tend to go all out for the people we love. By contrast, when someone you don’t like or don’t care about needs your help, do you help them? If you’re a nice person, maybe. But you don’t go out of your way in the same way that you would if it were someone you really cared about asking. So if he regularly leaves you stranded, this is a huge red flag that he doesn’t care.
- Sees you when it works for him Again, any sign that he’s just seeing you/interacting with you because it’s convenient shows that he doesn’t care about you. Or he doesn’t care about you as much as you deserve. When a guy cares about you, he goes out of his way to see you because seeing you is important to him. You’re not just a last-minute option for him to see or use when he feels like it.
- Expects you to pay for every date Beware of the person who expects you to pay for every date, especially if they’re financially capable of paying themselves. While it’s good to be independent and self-reliant, this suggests that the person is using you. If he cared about you, he wouldn’t want you to be out of pocket by paying for every single date. He would also want to show his affection for you by picking up the bill some of the time.
- Doesn’t act protective of you at all Is he happy to let you walk home in the dark by yourself, or does he insist on walking with you? Gender stereotypes aside, it’s natural for all people, no matter who you are or how you identify, to be protective of the things and people they love. So when a guy doesn’t act protective of you, even to a small degree, it’s likely that he doesn’t care about you.
- Keeps seeing other women This is probably the most obvious sign that a guy doesn’t care about you. Unless you’ve spoken about having an open relationship, a guy won’t continue to pursue other women if he genuinely likes you and cares about you. Would you keep pursuing others if you’d found someone special? Probably not.
- Doesn’t ask about your life No matter how much he seems to be physically attracted to you, you can assume a guy doesn’t care about you if he shows no interest in your life outside the bedroom. If he cares, he’ll ask how your day was. How work is going. Whether you sorted out that issue you were worried about or not. Not asking you anything about your life ever is pretty indicative of where he stands.