Things We Should Be Able To Take For Granted From Men (But Can’t)

Whether or not you’re a fan of chivalry, you’re probably a fan of basic manners, but even those are hard to come by in men these days. Not to knock men, but let’s be honest — guys today leave very little to be desired. When he actually does something very basic, something that would have been commonplace back in your grandmother’s day, we pretty much lose our minds over it. Here are 10 things we should be able to take for granted, but just can’t because, well, guys:

  1. When he doesn’t make you wait hours for a text. When was the last time you spent a full waking hour without checking your phone every five minutes? Never, right? What this means is that he’s gotten your text, saw it almost immediately, and, if you didn’t hear back, he’s waiting to respond – aka playing a game.
  2. When he says he wants to see you again and actually calls. Far too many men (and women) end dates with, “I’d love to you see again,” but never follow through. It’s the guy who follows through for whom we should all throw a parade in his honor.
  3. When he lets you get into the cab first. As a feminist, I don’t think of this move as somehow anti-feminist, but a manner thing. If I’m out with friends, I always open the door and let them get in first – it’s like you pour a glass of wine for someone before yourself – common decency.
  4. When he reaches for the check before you. While you may be able to buy your own dinner, the gender wage gap is still very much alive. So, by that rationale, a man who reaches for the check is kind of awesome. We’re just asking for a reach – at the very least!
  5. When he holds the door open for you. Sure, you have arms and can hold the door yourself, but isn’t it refreshing when someone does it for you? Certainly better than him rushing through it and letting it slam in your face.
  6. When he remembers your birthday. Not just that he remembers your birthday, but does so without a reminder from Facebook.
  7. When he has something nice to say about your friends and family. Wait. Did he just say that he thinks my best friend is awesome? And that he WANTS to go to my parents’ house for dinner this weekend because he loves my mom? What. The. Hell.
  8. When he spends the night. So, you had one hell of a romp for a few hours. Orgasms had been had and instead of jumping up to put on his pants and running for the door, he stays. He actually wants to stay. And, if that weren’t enough, he wants to cuddle.
  9. When he asks you about your day (and is genuinely curious). It’s one thing to ask about your day because that’s what people do, but it’s another thing to ask about your day and mean it. As in, he really is THAT interested in your boring meetings and the tuna salad sandwich you had for lunch.
  10. When he tells you he thinks you’re awesome. Whether this comes in the form of the “L” word or telling you that you’re the cat’s pajamas or by simply opening up about his feelings, it’s like you can hear angels singing hallelujah in one beautiful chorus when it happens. Despite the fact that you being told you’re awesome shouldn’t be that monumental but, you know, dudes today.
Amanda Chatel is a sexual health, mental health, and wellness journalist with more than a decade of experience. Her work has been featured in Shape, Glamour, SELF, Harper's Bazaar, The Atlantic, Forbes, Elle, Mic, Men's Health and Bustle, where she was a lifestyle writer for seven years. In 2019, The League included Amanda in their "15 Inspirational Feminists Every Single Person Should Follow on Twitter" list.

Amanda has a bachelor's degree in English and master's degree in Creative Writing from the University of New Hampshire. She divides her time between NYC, Paris, and Barcelona.

You can follow her on Instagram @la_chatel or on Twitter @angrychatel.