30 Things Your Crush Does That You Can’t Stop Overanalyzing

It starts small. Maybe he took longer than usual to text back or he canceled plans last minute. You’re fine for about five minutes, until you start overthinking his response and the entire situation altogether. Turning off the “don’t overthink” button in your brain is hard to do. If you’re anything like me, you can’t help but overanalyze some of the things your crush says and does:

  1. It’s 10 a.m. and I still haven’t heard from him. He’s dead.
  2. He sent a Snapchat instead of a text. When did Snapchat replace texting?
  3. He said he couldn’t text me back because he was “too busy.” That’s BS! It takes 10 seconds to text, “Hey I’m busy, I’ll call you later.” Am I wrong?
  4. He didn’t formally invite me out last night. He said I could “stop by” — sounds like he couldn’t have cared less if I actually showed up.
  5. He asked what I’m doing, but didn’t ask to see me. Why does he want to know what I’m doing, then?!
  6. He’s still friends with his ex on Facebook. There’s no need for that.
  7. He asked me to hang out with him and his friends. Alright, alright! He must be really serious about the relationship. Why else would he want me to meet his friends?
  8. He didn’t like the selfie I posted on Instagram. Honestly, it’s just disrespectful.
  9. He said I’m not like the other girls he’s dated in the past. Is that a good or bad thing? Does that mean he thinks I’m weird?
  10. He doesn’t have a strong group of friends. That’s never a good sign…something must be wrong with him, right?
  11. He let me pay my own bill. I offered to pay the bill (just to be nice) and he actually let me — WTF? Are we just friends?
  12. He takes way too long to get ready. Who does he have to impress? He already knows I like him. He must be getting all pretty for someone else.
  13. He asked for advice about work. Seems very relationship-y — not that I’m complaining, of course.
  14. He texted me “haha” instead of his usual “lol.” Consistency is important to me.
  15. He never texts first. He obviously doesn’t want to talk to me that bad. If he did, he’d text me first. Message received, mofo.
  16. He’s a little too willing to talk to other girls in front of me. Technically he’s not flirting with them, but in my brain he is, and I hate it.
  17. He didn’t text me the day after an amazing date. Maybe we didn’t have as much fun as I initially thought.
  18. He texts other girls. I know this because I saw Amber’s name pop up on his home screen. Who the hell is Amber?
  19. He called me babe. He wouldn’t call me that if we were “just friends” — or would he?
  20. He didn’t hit me up with a goodnight text. Sometimes he’s the epitome of romance and sometimes he’s just another jerk. What does that mean?
  21. He hasn’t called me pretty in a hot minute. Not that I need it, but still — would it kill him to throw a compliment my way?
  22. He’s complimenting me way too much. An over complimentary guy can be a tad concerning.
  23. He never makes plans far in advance. Everything is last minute. Am I an afterthought?
  24. He ended a text with a period and no emoji. He’s pissed.
  25. He just mentioned his ex girlfriend’s name. Is that a sign that he’s not over her?
  26. He answered my phone call with a text. “You actin’ kinda shady, ain’t callin’ me baby. Why the sudden change?”
  27. He said he’s free today, but he hasn’t asked me to meet up yet. Not to be needy, BUT if he’s “free,” I feel like he should be spending his free time with me.
  28. He’d rather stay in than go out with me and my friends. He might not be down for a girls’ night out, but there’s no way he’s “just staying in.” LIES.
  29. He never mentions his family. Does he have one?
  30. All his guy friends are single. You are the people you spend a majority of your time with. Am I right or am I right?
Jordan White is a writer based in Scottsdale, Arizona with more than 8 years of experience. She graduated from Northern Arizona University with a degree in Rhetoric and Creative Writing in 2015 and while there, she wrote for The Daily Wildcat. She has since written for sites including FanBread, and, of course, Bolde. You can find about more her on Facebook. She has a passion for giving her audience something to laugh about and despises the heat more than anything.