10 Things I Do When I’m Coupled Up That I Need To Do For My Single Self Too

Part of the reason I like being boo’d up is simply that I feel like the excitement of being with someone else brings out a better version of myself. I’m capable of greatness on my own, but sometimes the motivation is just not there to do it all just for me. After going through a breakup, I wish I still kept up with consistently taking care of these 10 things.

  1. Keeping my home organized This is incredibly unrealistic, but I have a mental fixation on having a Better Homes & Garden magazine-ready place any time my partner comes over. I’m beyond mortified by the idea of it looking even slightly “lived in.” Whenever I’m single, I’m still big on cleanliness, so I wouldn’t say it ever gets dirty, but I’m definitely laxer about everything being in its proper place at all times. I know it’s not a bid deal, but the ambiance is so much calmer and pleasant when it’s regularly tidy.
  2. Staying short-short ready No-shave-November tends to extend year-round unless I know there might be direct contact with my skin. At the very least, I definitely push the limits on an acceptable amount of stubble. I run into more moments of light shining on my leg and catching a patch of missed hairs as opposed to being smooth as butter and smelling good for my man.
  3. Slaying a beat face OK, to be honest, I’m never heavy on the makeup. But I like to dress up and doll up for my guy on date nights. I want him to be proud to have gorgeous eye candy at his side when out in public and, especially if we’ve had nights in, allows surprising him with a WOW look when I put that extra effort on winging my eyeliner and lengthening eyelashes.
  4. Maintaining efficient time-management With upcoming date nights, FaceTime calls, etc. eating up my free time, I am more mindful about staying on top of what I need to get done during spare moments. When it’s just me, I tend to procrastinate more and drag my feet to get started on to-do list tasks. I end up getting less done when I have more time to do it.
  5. Making time for myself Having to divide my time between work, a relationship, and adulting, I can end up feeling stifled and neglected if I don’t make a point to carve some “me time” into my week. But when it’s just me, I feel like I’m always with myself and am less intentional about making this event rejuvenating. I can end up wasting hours basically doing next to nothing and still feel drained.
  6. Keeping up my goal-getting drive When I have someone directly in my life to impress, I get so much better about staying on top of my game. I hate feeling inferior to my partner and aim to put in my share of the work to be a power couple. If I have any lingering incomplete visions before I get in a relationship, this is generally the time they come into fruition.
  7. Planning for the future When it’s just me supporting myself, I can sometimes fall into a pattern of adulting on autopilot. I live paycheck to paycheck mostly doing enough to get by and taking it day by day. When I’m with someone else, I allow myself to have big dreams about our future together. I start wondering who will make the move to the other partner’s town or neighborhood? Will we buy a home together? Have our own kids? Die at the same time like Noah and Allie in The Notebook?
  8. Taking my debt seriously I am beyond guilty for playing Ray Charles when it comes to student loan debt. I’m truly surprised I am still being allowed to defer payments. It is so bad and needs to be tackled but gets pushed to the far back of my mind most of the time. When I’m with a guy though, I don’t want to carry debt into a relationship as baggage and inhibit our financial freedom as a couple together. It’s something I start feeling more urgent about handling.
  9. Paying attention to what I wear I never know when my partner might call or show up unannounced. Even if he calls early morning, I never want to be caught without rocking a Beyoncé-flawless “I woke up like this” look. When I’m single, I have more days of leaving the home like I’m trying to compete for a top ten spot on peopleofwalmart.com.
  10. Looking forward to tomorrow. Getting off work can feel drab and the days can drag on without anticipating an incoming “good morning/good night text” and someone guaranteed to spend time with you. When I’m single, I have to decide if I’m going to see a movie alone, trying to coordinate schedules with a friend, or just giving up and waiting for it to come out on DVD so I can watch it alone at home.
I’m Cara, not to be confused with Carrie, although you could say I’m a Millennial Bradshaw of sorts. Pop culture connoisseur. Lover of all things creative and passionate about health and personal well-being. Follow me on IG @cara_vale_writer