These Things Don’t Make You Look Cute — Just Lonely & Desperate

It’s not good to constantly be worried about how others perceive you, but at the same time, coming off as desperate can really damage your social and dating life. The problem is that we don’t always realize that the things we do can give off a really bad impression. If you’re doing any of these things, cut it out — they’re making you look super needy:

  1. Using social media too much Spending countless hours a day liking and commenting on every single thing your crush posts while updating your status every eleven minutes will get you noticed, but not in a good way. Don’t you have a job, friends, and hobbies? When you have so much extra time to spend on Facebook, it’s going to look like you have no life and you’re choosing to spend your spare time looking for attention on the internet.
  2. Obsessing over having a “perfect” boyfriend A boyfriend is not a project for you to chip away at until he resembles the male lead in a sappy romance novel. He is who he is, and you can’t go into a relationship with a lengthy list of things you plan to change about the guy. That’s creepy.
  3. Flirting with men who are already taken What’s the point of doing this? A possible self-esteem boost? Out of all the available single guys out there, you’re intentionally going after men who have made it clear that they’re already with someone. Even they do flirt back and try to pursue things with you, where will you end up? The only thing you’ve established is that both of you are lousy people.
  4. Acting like a diva Diva behavior is not flirty, cute, or desirable. Divas are high-maintenance, obnoxious drama queens who leave unpaid bar tabs and broken friendships in their wake. If you need to behave like that to get people to pay attention to you, your default setting is definitely stuck on “desperate.”
  5. Constantly telling everyone that you’re single They know. Yes, really. Being single may be part of your life right now, but it doesn’t have to negatively impact your personality and turn you into someone who pesters everyone for pity dates.
  6. Staying with a guy “because he’s so nice” Niceness should be an expectation, not a bonus. Being excited about dating someone just because he’s nice is like being excited about buying a house just because it has floors. Floors are the bare minimum in the structure of a house and they’re nothing to swoon over. Ignoring crappy qualities and desperately clinging to “nice” is a recipe for disaster.
  7. Nonstop dating It’s okay to take breaks in between dating misadventures. You don’t have to have several dates lined up the second you get out of a relationship. Taking some time to be alone gives you the opportunity to think about what went wrong and make changes so you can avoid the same mistakes in the future. If you don’t do that and continue to willingly throw yourself head-first into bad relationships because you’re afraid of being alone, you might as well get “desperate” tattooed on your forehead.
  8. Asking a random guy to buy you a drink This maneuver has been normalized to an extent, but it’s horrendous. You are capable of buying your own booze and talking to people you want to talk to without asking strangers to spend their money on you.
  9. Dating your coworkers “Don’t dip your pen in the company ink” is a popular saying for a reason. You could royally screw yourself over if your employer has a policy against dating coworkers. You shouldn’t look at your office as a potential dating hub anyway. That’s where you work. Your professional reputation is on the line, and you could lose your job and a lot of other opportunities if things end badly. Putting so much at risk is a dumb and desperate move.
  10. Seeking approval in everything you do You may need approval or permission in certain areas of your life, but it’s completely unnecessary to ask for everyone’s blessing regarding every decision you make. Needing constant approval may stem from a desire to be liked, but at the end of the day you have no control over what other people think of you.
Lauren Clark is a writer and news curator based in Denver, Colorado with bylines here on Bolde and at While she’s vehemently anti-social media, you can find her on LinkedIn.