For the first time in my life, I’m in a healthy relationship. It feels nothing short of fantastic and makes me wonder how I ever managed to be with my toxic exes. Now that I’m with someone I can trust and who’s good for me, all of my worries have suddenly disappeared.
I don’t worry about checking his Facebook multiple times a day. My ex hardly ever used Facebook, but that didn’t stop me from checking it literally 10 times a day. I’m not exaggerating. I was obsessed. I had to know who he was becoming friends with, if someone was writing on his wall, and whatever else he was doing there. I have zero desire to do this with my husband. I don’t even remember when it was that I looked at his page because it’s just that unimportant.
I don’t worry about holding in my feelings. I’m notorious for holding my feelings in. I’ve been doing it with everyone for as long as I can remember and this did not help me in relationships. With my ex, I always feared he would judge me or make me feel crazy or leave me so I shut my mouth and pretended everything was OK when it wasn’t. With my husband, I can tell him everything. We have open communication. We can really talk about what’s bothering us.
I don’t worry about being cheated on. I know that my ex cheated on me. I didn’t have solid proof, but there were so many signs. I even asked him and he denied it, but that didn’t matter. I knew. I worried about it constantly. When we were long-distance, I wondered what he was doing. When he went out with friends, I wondered if he was hooking up with someone else and that was stressful. Now, it’s not even a blip on my radar to worry about my husband. I know without a shadow of a doubt that I have nothing to worry about.
I don’t worry that he won’t find me attractive. I’m not a skinny girl—I never have been. I’ve always been curvy. My ex was very strange about how I looked. He dated me for five years and obviously must have liked how I looked but he didn’t love me entirely. It was very rare that he took my shirt off during sex and I knew it was because he didn’t like my stomach. That obviously did wonderful things for my self-esteem. My husband, on the other hand, can’t get enough of me. He loves my curves and tells me all the time how beautiful every inch of my body is. He’s being 1000% genuine. I have my own issues with my body but none of them are because of the way he treats me. I wish I loved my body as he loves it!
I don’t worry about eating in front of him. More to the point about my body issues, my ex used to make comments about how much I ate or what I ate. I knew it all pointed back to my weight, so I worried about what I ate in front of him or how I ate. My husband could watch me eat two helpings of a meal and ask me if I wanted more. He doesn’t care. He doesn’t make backhanded comments about my eating. I can actually enjoy what I want now.
I don’t worry that he’s embarrassed to be seen with me. When my ex and I were long-distance and I went to visit him, we rarely ever went out. He didn’t introduce me to friends. When and if we did go out, he acted very strange around me. My husband, on the other hand, would scream from the rooftops how much he loves me. He always says he feels so lucky to have me and he wants to show me off to the world.
I don’t worry about how my likes will affect him. I often felt the need to hide the things I liked around my ex. TV shows, movies, music, foods—you name it, he would judge me for it. I could never talk about or engage in those things around him. My husband, on the other hand, watches cheesy movies with me and listens to me talk about my favorite makeup YouTuber and doesn’t bat an eye. He enjoys hearing my passions and being a part of them as much as I love sharing them.
I don’t worry about keeping my future plans a secret. My ex was very weird about talking about our future. He got really uncomfortable when I talked about marriage. He said he didn’t want kids and I lied to myself that I didn’t either. I kept so much of that a secret. I lied about what I truly wanted. My husband and I are so open about what we want. He has zero fear of commitment and we are 100% on the same page—and that’s how it should be.
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