When Things Get Tough, Will Your Boyfriend Rise To The Occasion Or Fall Apart?

You’ll probably learn more about your boyfriend when life throws you a curveball than during the happy honeymoon phase, and sometimes, the way your guy responds might be shocking. Here are some big and small situations that will reveal your boyfriend’s true character, courtesy of unpredictable life:

  1. When you have a family emergency. Life can be tipped upside-down overnight, and during those moments you really need a strong, supportive boyfriend at your side. If you’re having a family emergency and your guy is cold or dismissive of what you’re going through, that’s a huge wake-up call for you to GTFO of the relationship. If he can’t see the gravity of the situation and he’s so selfish he isn’t there for you, he’s not good BF material at all.
  2. When you cancel your plans. You’ve had dinner reservations at an amazing restaurant for weeks in advance or you’ve booked a mini holiday away together months ahead of time, but now you’re forced to cancel because something huge has come up on your side. Does your boyfriend see things from your perspective or is he quick to fight with you?
  3. When You’re going through a personal crisis. Dealing well with an emergency is a good sign that your BF is the real deal, but what about personal crises that take longer to get resolved, like depression? Does your boyfriend become your rock during that time or make you wish you had a bag of rocks to throw at his head?
  4. When Stress gets to you. You can’t be strong forever and eventually the time will come when your BF sees you in your worst state because of the horrible day life threw at you: crying over a flat tire or office politics, your mascara running down your face, and feeling like you just want to hide from the world or smash it into pieces. A great BF will stay with you and try to help you, and if he can’t help you he’ll comfort you. A crappy BF will walk away, tell you to grow up or find a way to blame you for what you’re going through.
  5. When You succeed at something amazing. It’s not just the bad times that show you what your boyfriend is made of, but also the really amazing times that you go through — for instance when you achieve a life goal and have a victorious day. You want to share this joy with your partner, of course, but are they there for you? Are they really happy for your success or acting moody because they’re jealous? You want to be with someone who will stand by you through the best times without feeling like someone who’s on your enemy camp moonlighting as your boyfriend.
  6. When You put on weight. You might have packed on some pounds recently, perhaps out of stress or because you haven’t had time to hit the gym, but you’re still the same, amazing woman. Your boyfriend should be reminding you of that fact instead of shaming you for every pound. That’s not a boyfriend, that’s a fitness boot camp instructor that you never allowed entry into your life.
  7. When You tell him a hard truth. Sooner or later your boyfriend will show you a side to him that you really don’t like. Perhaps it’s his road rage or the way he can’t hold down a job. In such cases, you have to tell him what you really think. How he takes it will show you a new side to his personality. An arrogant jerk will fight with you or not see things from your perspective at all, which should set off the warning bells. Imagine trying to talk to him about bigger issues.
  8. When He has a day from hell. Your BF is a charming, great guy when times are good, but what happens when he goes through drama? For instance, what does he do when he gets fired from work or his car gets stolen? Is he a drama king because he acts like a five-year-old boy, kicking and screaming about how unfair life is? So draining.
  9. When You get into a huge fight. You can tell a lot about a person by how they fight. When you and your BF get into a really massive argument, how does he deal? If he’s quick to try to throw the guilt onto you or make you seem like the bad guy, he’s got no emotional maturity and it probably feels like fighting with a brick wall because things don’t get resolved. You have to ask yourself if he’s the type of guy you’d want to fight with – and make up with – in future.
  10. When The waiter is rude. You’re at dinner with your BF and get saddled with a really rude waiter. Check how your BF reacts. Just because someone’s being nasty to him, it doesn’t give him the right to get into a fight or act like a complete jerk. In fact, this is the perfect opportunity to see if the guy you’re dating is quick to unleash his temper and become a jackass you don’t want to be seen in public with.
  11. When A guy hits on you in front of him. You’re at a party with your BF when a stupid drunk guy tries to hit on you. You might think it’s a turn-on for your guy to punch him in the jaw and save you from the sleazeball, but it’s actually not. It can be a sign that he’s too aggressive for his own good. If the guy is a bit too forward or rude, then perhaps a physical lesson is in order, but that should never be your BF’s first choice. That just makes him look bad.
Giulia Simolo is a writer from Johannesburg, South Africa with a degree in English Language and Literature. She has been working as a journalist for more than a decade, writing for sites including AskMen, Native Interiors, and Live Eco. You can find out more about her on Facebook and LinkedIn, or follow her on Twitter @GiuliaSimolo.