Things A Guy Says When He Isn’t Planning On Being Your Boyfriend

Men might say they’re clear about their intentions, and they are — when they’re really into you. But if the guy you’re seeing starts telling you vague things like this, the message he’s really sending is that things will never go further than where they are now:

  1. “I’m bad at texting.” A guy who wants to date you is going to want to get to know you, which means he’ll be firing up your phone with texts. If he’s telling you from the beginning that he doesn’t like texting, he’s basically saying you shouldn’t expect to hear much from him.
  2. “I’m not into commitment.” Okay, he might genuinely be afraid of commitment or have trust issues, but if a guy really likes you, he’ll take the risk and try to overcome his fears. Nothing will stand in his way.
  3. “I don’t like relationship labels.” This might come up when he introduces you as his friend or gets weird when you suggest changing relationship statuses on Facebook. Either way, he’s basically saying that he doesn’t like you enough to show the world that he’s with you.
  4. “I could come over now instead.” It might seem flattering to hear from the guy days before you were scheduled to go on a romantic date — he’s so into you, he just can’t wait to see you, right? Wrong. If the message is coming through late at night, the guy’s not looking for romance. He’s changed his mind about you, downgrading you from potential girlfriend to booty call.
  5. “I’m sorry I didn’t call. I’ve been so busy.” Being “busy” is the classic excuse guys will give you when they know you’re getting fed up by how little they’ve been in touch. But if he’s really into you, he’ll make the effort to talk to you. Period.
  6. “I want to continue having fun with you.” When you’ve been seeing him for a while and then ask the guy where things are going, he might reply that he’d like to be in the moment and continue enjoying the time with you. Sounds sweet-ish, but come on — he’s only sticking around while it’s convenient for him. He’s not looking for something more serious.
  7. “I can’t meet this week, but I miss you.”  If he cancels plans with you a lot, it’s a clear sign he’s not interested. But he might throw in that he misses you to hopefully keep you holding on. If he sweetens you up, he gets to have you available to him should he want to see you — like if the other woman he’s dating stands him up.
  8. “I really like you, but I’m scared.” Enough with the “scared” nonsense — he wants your sympathy so that he can still sneak into your bed when he feels like it. He’s a coward who won’t tell you the truth: that he’s not interested in dating you.
  9. “Let’s see where things go.” A guy will know what he wants from you after a few dates, just like you’ll know what you want from him. No matter what he says, it doesn’t take months to figure it out. His wishy-washy attitude is enough of a good reason to walk out the door and never look back. This guy’s totally playing you.
  10. “You’re out of my league.” If he expresses insecurities when dating you, such as that you’re out of his league, it might feel flattering. But be careful — he could also be saying that you’re not a good match while trying not to hurt your feelings.
  11. “So my friend did this thing/said this/thinks this…” If he mentions his female friend a lot, it’s a bad sign. Although you — or he — might write this off as him just being close to her, he’s clearly stuck on her. And if he’s so focused on her, how is he supposed to be with you? He might not realize it now, but he’s subconsciously saying he’s not going to be good boyfriend material.
Giulia Simolo is a writer from Johannesburg, South Africa with a degree in English Language and Literature. She has been working as a journalist for more than a decade, writing for sites including AskMen, Native Interiors, and Live Eco. You can find out more about her on Facebook and LinkedIn, or follow her on Twitter @GiuliaSimolo.