Maybe you’re going out with this guy who looks at you like you’re the center of the universe. Everything is going well, then suddenly, you can tell that he’s pulling away for some reason and you’re not sure what you did wrong. This doesn’t mean that you’re unlovable or bad, only that you might be doing something that guys tend to see as a turn-off. These behaviors aren’t great, but don’t stop them for a guy’s sake—do it for yourself.
- Being too needy It’s only natural to want to make your guy happy and have him do the same for you, but needing him to cater to your every whim, being desperate for his attention, or bending over backward to please him so he doesn’t leave is not a good look. If he’s the only good thing in your life and you always need him to respond to you a certain way in order to validate your existence, then there’s a problem. Men love to feel wanted, not needed.
- Not knowing what you want You’re a grown woman. You should be able to figure out what you want for yourself and what you don’t want. Don’t just settle for anything he throws at you to make him happy or to give yourself a false sense of satisfaction even though your needs aren’t being met. Only lame, toxic guys like a pushover. It might be cute in the beginning, but he’s going to start resenting you for it.
- Playing dumb to get attention What is this, high school? Why are you pretending to be stupid when you’re not? If you’re doing it so he doesn’t feel intimidated, is he really the kind of guy you need in your life? Have a healthy sense of self and roll with it. Be as brilliant and amazing as you are and let him love you just like that.
- Making your relationship the center of your life The best relationships are the ones where the couples both lead fulfilled and happy lives away from each other. Guys don’t like it when a woman isn’t her own person. I know you might want to, but you shouldn’t spend all your time with him or waiting for him to come to you. Make room in your life, but don’t forsake your other relationships and interests for him. Remember, being with him should be the icing on the cake, not the cake itself.
- Being emotionally dishonest Emotional honesty is about communicating how you’re really feeling and why, then seeking healthy solutions. This means telling him you’re upset instead of bottling it up and pretending everything is fine. It means not expecting him to read your mind and being passive-aggressive or plotting retaliation when he doesn’t. Guys are turned off by emotionally dishonest and manipulative women, so stop holding on to toxic behavior and fix up.
- Spending too much time on your phone It’s very disrespectful to be on your phone every second especially when you’re together and he’s trying to spend quality time with you. Even if you attach a lot of importance to your social media pages, you shouldn’t let it get in the way of real life all the time.
- You exhibit self-centeredness on steroids It’s important to love yourself, but maybe try to remember that you’re not the only one in the world or the relationship. Talking too much or worrying about your own needs and desires at the expense of his own is a major turn-off. Relationships are about give and take, so if he feels like you only care about yourself and your life while paying very little regard to his, he’s going to want to be away from your narcissistic energy.
- Always complaining about stuff Sure, complaining can be good. There are ties when life throws stuff at you and you just want to vent to your partner, but it shouldn’t become all you do. Constantly complaining about your friends, family, work, past relationships, and everything under the sun can get exhausting. Other than professionals who get paid for it, very few people can put up with it for very long.
- Trying to control him It’d be nice if there was a remote you could press to get your guy to be and do everything you want, but where’s the fun in that? No matter how much you like being in control and having the upper hand, healthy relationships require free will on the part of your partner. Let a guy be with you because he wants to be not because you’re manipulating him into doing so.
- Not showing appreciation for things he does. We sometimes get used to things being a certain way that we forget to show our appreciation for it. Yes, he does sweet things for you, he’s always present, and he makes your life so much better, but have you thanked him lately? When was the last time you complimented him? Have you done something to show him how much he means to you?
- Trying to make him jealous. I think there is a bigger problem at play if you’re grown and still trying to introduce sparks into your relationship by making your man jealous. If it’s his attention you’re after, I promise you there are better ways to go about getting it. Flirting with that hot guy at work or every single dude in a room will likely work against you by turning him off.
