It’s no secret that guys are completely confusing. Of course, there are guide books aplenty to explain them, but just because you’ve read He’s Just Not That Into You doesn’t mean you’re ready to accept reality. If you can’t figure out if your current guy is looking for a Facebook official relationship or a series of secret trysts, don’t worry, you’re not alone. Guys are constantly doing and saying things to contradict themselves, and they can be hard to decode.
Texting a ton at once, and then not at all. If these triple texts are coming through after midnight, it’s more than likely that a booty call is all he’s looking for. But when a guy texts constantly and then ghosts, only to reappear when you least expect it, that’s when you start to wonder what he’s looking for. It’s probably just to keep you available as an option, but that doesn’t mean you won’t spend hours (or days) deliberating.
Texting constantly, but never actually trying to meet. This one also has an easy explanation — he wants to keep you around, just in case. There’s the mid-week investment text, usually sent on a Wednesday or Thursday, to guarantee you’ll be available over the weekend. There’s even the “How’s your day going?” just so you know he’s thinking of you. It’s not quite the “u up” text, but the constant barrage doesn’t mean anything if you never see each other IRL. As much as you seem to click via telephone, if you never meet up, it seems like a seriously useless waste of time for everyone.
Acting like it’s a hook-up, and then hanging around in the morning. There are very clear rules when it comes to black and white booty calls. All communication happens in the dead of night, probably when both parties have been drinking for hours. Then, once the transaction is complete, one of the party leaves immediately — they don’t hang around and suggest a boozy brunch the next morning. When said transaction suddenly leads to chatting and spending the day together, it starts veering dangerously into a relationship zone.
Having hot sex and then… cuddling? When you know it’s a hook-up, there are certain things you learn not to expect, including but not limited to expensive dinners, rose petals in the bedroom, and casual cuddles. That’s why your brain is all out of whack when suddenly he’s curled up against you.
Keeping it casual, followed by talking about marriage and children. Every girl has been there — it’s a brand new maybe-relationship, and on one of your dates he brings up marriage. You start falling far too fast and planning your dream wedding on Pinterest, and then he can’t bother to call you, leading you to seriously wonder what he was thinking (which you do with a bottle of wine while making your wedding board private).
Taking you on a fairly romantic date, and then assuming he can get it in with zero effort after. This isn’t that confusing, since it basically means he’s looking to put in no effort and no dollars and get business time out of it. You’re confused because you know that he knows what a date is, because he took you on a pretty good one — so why does he only attempt to see you late night and expect you’ll be okay with it?
Acting totally normal when you’re together, but being a loser via text. This is the worst one, because it leads to you rewinding everything that happened during your last intersection. After all, it seemed like everything was great and now it he’s dodging you. You Facebook stalk. You Twitter creep (making sure not to fave). In an effort to see if he met someone new, you even search for his Instagram. Unfortunately, no matter how good you are at internet sleuthing, when a guy ghosts you’re left with more questions than ever about what his intentions were.