We all want to be adored and appreciated, but you’ll never find love if you’re constantly on the hunt for your next boyfriend. Take a deep breath, reassess your priorities, and you’ll find this is what happens:
- You can focus on yourself. Girl, you do you! If your main focus is on finding a guy, you’ll inadvertently let yourself fall to the wayside. Prioritize bettering yourself — sign up for that barre class you’ve been dying to try or take an online course to beef up your resume. Personal growth will get you a heck of a lot farther than any guy ever will. Plus, we’re most attracted to those who are living a full, happy life, so you’ll naturally pull others in without trying.
- You’ll feel less pressure. Who are we kidding? Dating is stressful AF. Sure, it’s fun, but always having to be on your A-game wears a girl down. A magical thing happens when you stop putting so much emphasis on finding love — the pressure is lifted and you can genuinely enjoy yourself! So what if your date doesn’t work out? You’re in no rush to settle down and you’ll just keep doing your thing until it happens.
- It won’t be forced. A relationship that’s forced is no relationship at all. The beauty of falling in love is that it happens naturally, all on its own. If you have to actively put work into developing feelings and sparking passion, then you’re hurting the both of you. Instead, allow it to happen on its own. After all, what’s the rush?
- You’ll learn exactly what you want. There’s nothing stronger and sexier than a woman who knows what she wants and refuses to settle for anything less. When you stop seeking out love, you can focus on the other aspects that create a relationship. Understand which values you need to line up, learn your dealbreakers and discover what you ultimately want from your next relationship.
- You’ll learn what you DON’T want. The only real way to figure out what you don’t want is through trial and error. Date without the intention of landing a ring and you can easily walk away when something isn’t working. Years ago, I was convinced that I wanted the guy who was always the life of the party, but after dating a handful of that type, it became pretty clear that those personalities just don’t fly when you’re naturally loud on your own. Stop wasting energy on what you don’t want and you’ll be 1000 times happier.
- You won’t settle. We’ve all seen it before — a friend settles for the wrong guy rather than just remain single. It sucks to see your hilarious BFF date a guy with no sense of humor or your squad’s #GirlBoss be dragged down by her unambitious boyfriend. No, he doesn’t need to fit the mold of your ideal dream man, but settling when it comes to the important stuff will just create more heartache later. Is dissatisfaction really preferable to being single?
- You won’t miss out on opportunities. Often, the best relationships are the ones you wouldn’t expect. Don’t approach love like you would a checklist. If you’ve got your sights set on finding “The One” then it’s likely that you’ll blindly overlook other opportunities.
- You’ll learn to enjoy being single. Live it up! Being single means you call all the shots and don’t have to compromise. You feel like eating ice cream for dinner tonight? Go for it! You’ve always dreamed of spending a summer abroad traveling? Make it happen! Now’s the time to figure your stuff out and master living your best life. Surround yourself with vibrant people, visit breathtaking places and carve out your place in the world. Then, when you least expect it, the rest will fall into place.