Things Introverts Wish You Knew (But Find It Too Awkward To Say)

Things Introverts Wish You Knew (But Find It Too Awkward To Say)

Introverts aren’t always the easiest people to understand. There’s a lot going on inside our heads, and sometimes our behavior on the outside doesn’t match up. If you’re wondering why we act a certain way, here are some things we wish we could tell you (but, you know, the whole social interaction thing can be awkward).

1. We enjoy our own company.

Alone time isn’t a punishment for us; it’s how we recharge. It doesn’t mean we don’t like you, though. We just need some quiet time away from people to process the world. If we go quiet, it’s not because we’re upset – we might just be enjoying some comfortable silence. Try not to take it so personally.

2. Small talk can feel draining.

We love deep conversations and meaningful connections with people, so while chatting about the weather is fine, it doesn’t exactly get our hearts racing. Don’t be afraid to ask us about our interests or share something a little more personal if you want us to be a bit chattier. Tapping into the things we really care about will show you a whole new side to us.

3. We’re not always shy.

Introversion is about where we draw our energy from, not necessarily about being shy. Some introverts are actually pretty outgoing, while some extroverts are socially anxious. Don’t assume you know our personality based simply on how social we seem in a given moment. Humanity is a bit more complex than that.

4. We’re great listeners.

We tend to be observant and reflective, which makes us excellent listeners. If you need someone to truly hear you out, your introverted friend is probably a good choice. Trust us with your thoughts and feelings; we’re more likely to listen intently than offer unsolicited advice.

5. Going out takes serious mental preparation.

Parties and big gatherings aren’t a spur-of-the-moment thing for us. We need time to mentally prepare and may have a shorter social battery than our extroverted friends. Giving us advance notice and understanding our social limits will go a long way. We might not want to party until 2 a.m. — if we dip out at 11 p.m., just accept it.

6. We might cancel plans, and it’s not personal.

smiling woman in coffee shop

Sometimes our social energy gets depleted, even for things we were looking forward to. Please don’t take it personally; we probably just need to recharge our batteries. If you can just respect our need for downtime, we’ll be better company the next time around.

7. We love you, yes, but we need space.

woman doing yoga in the floor

Even in the closest relationships, introverts need our personal space and alone time. It’s the key to us being our best selves when we’re with you. Letting us have time and space to do our own thing away from you will actually strengthen our connection rather than weaken it. Trust us on this.

8. We’re often lost in our own thoughts.

If we seem distracted or zoned out, it’s not because we’re bored. We have an active imagination and sometimes we’re just deep in thought. Give us a little nudge if you need our attention, but try not to get too frustrated. We’re not deliberately tuning you out, we promise.

9. Overstimulation is our kryptonite.

Crowds, loud noises, and too much activity can quickly overwhelm us. We might withdraw in those situations, not because we’re antisocial, but because it’s a self-protection mechanism. Helping us find a quieter corner or taking a break can make a huge difference.

10. We prefer texting over phone calls.

woman texting on city street

Texting allows us to think about our responses in depth and avoid the pressure of on-the-spot conversations. Don’t be offended if we’d rather text than call. It’s just about how we communicate best.

11. We make amazing friends — it just takes time.

It may take a while for us to warm up, but introverts are incredibly loyal and thoughtful friends. We value quality over quantity in our relationships. Be patient with us, and the friendship we build will be worth the wait.

12. Big groups drain us.

We thrive in smaller groups or one-on-one settings where we can have deeper conversations. Large gatherings can feel overwhelming and leave us feeling exhausted and overwhelmed. Don’t force us to socialize in big groups for too long; some one-on-one time will be much more meaningful to us.

13. We notice everything.

Introverts tend to be extremely perceptive — we pick up on subtle cues and details others might miss. Don’t assume we’re not paying attention just because we’re quiet. We might notice more than we let on.

14. We’re not antisocial, just selectively social.

We enjoy socializing but in smaller doses and with people we genuinely connect with. We choose our social engagements carefully. Respect our choices, and don’t push us to be more social than feels comfortable for us. Not everyone has to be the life of the party all the time.

15. We think before we speak.

We don’t just blurt words out without thinking of their possible consequences — we take our time to truly think about it, which. might mean we’re quiet for a while before responding. We’re processing information and coming up with a thoughtful response. Give us the space to gather our thoughts, and you might be surprised by what we come out with in the end.

16. We might seem serious, but we have a fun side too.

Being so quiet and reserved can sometimes make us seem serious, and we get that, but it’s not really a fair picture of who we are. We love to let loose and have fun, but usually with people we feel comfortable around. Don’t be afraid to tap into our playful side; we promise it exists!

17. We appreciate your patience and understanding.

We’ll always appreciate you for respecting our need for quiet time, for engaging us in meaningful conversation, and for not getting offended when we need to cancel plans. Your understanding means the world to us. It helps us feel accepted and loved for who we truly are.

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Phoebe Mertens is a writer, speaker, and strategist who has helped dozens of female-founded and led companies reach success in areas such a finance, tech, science, and fashion. Her keen eye for detail and her innovative approach to modern womanhood makes her one of the most sought-out in her industry, and there's nothing she loves more than to see these companies shine.

With an MBA from NYU's Stern School of Business and features in Forbes and Fast Company she Phoebe has proven she knows her stuff. While she doesn't use social media, she does have a private Instagram just to look at pictures of cats.
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