10 Things You Miss Out On When You Rush A Relationship

It’s already hard enough to find someone you actually want to spend time with, let alone start a relationship with. When it does happen, it can be tempting to rush it along and lock it down, but what are you missing out on in the process? So many things!

  1. Becoming friends first Have you ever heard someone who’s been married for a long time say that they married their best friend? Well, there’s something to that. When you’re looking for someone you want to spend the rest of your life with, you’re going to want to get along with them on a basic level. It’s impossible to know if the guy you’ve only dated for three weeks is that guy. Deep friendships take months, even years to cultivate, and you totally rob yourself of the experience of making a new friend when you jump head-first into a new relationship.
  2. The ability to retain your independence When you rush into a relationship, there’s a pretty good chance you’re dedicating most of your time to your new beau. The problem with that is in turn, you might start neglecting yourself. It’s easy to get swept up in a new romance, but you have to keep the things that make you happy in your life. Taking time to keep up with your hobbies and friends and even start new ones will help you remain an individual in the relationship. It’ll also keep your schedule busy, which makes it harder to rush things.
  3. Learning about each other naturally Getting to know your new guy is one of the most fun parts of a relationship. Sadly, when you rush it, you may learn a little bit about each other in a matter of hours and think that’s enough. While it’s awesome to be an open book, spilling all your life’s little anecdotes means you’ll run out of interesting things to say about yourself. Keep things light and easy on the first few dates. You’ll always have time to get into the nitty-gritty if your guy is still interested.
  4. Other relationships Just like your relationship with yourself will start slack, your relationship with the other important people in your life could come to a screeching halt. Have you ever had that friend who fell off the face of the earth as soon as she got a new boyfriend? It doesn’t feel very nice, does it? What’s even worse is that when they broke up, she probably came crawling back. Trust us on this one—keep your best friends close, regardless of your relationship status.
  5. Your role in the relationship There are many dynamics that play out in relationships. Some people are more standoffish while others get clingy. When you’re getting to know someone, it’s much easier to feel out their personality and the way they show love when you take it slow. This also helps when you’re trying to understand someone. If you move too fast, you risk not being able to “get” them and their point of view about certain issues.
  6. Sexual tension Not going to lie, sexual tension in a new relationship is half the reason it’s so great to be in one. There’s nothing more seductive than the slow tease. Not only does it show your potential partner that you’re capable of delayed gratification—the epitome of being an adult—but that you’re also taking the relationship seriously.
  7. Spotting red flags The first 90 days of a relationship is when everyone is on their best behavior. So it’s no surprise that your idea of your guy will be tainted by rose-colored glasses. When you rush into something, you may force unrealistic expectations on the relationship, which will lead you to ignore the red flags. As the relationship chugs along, these red flags will pop up again, and take it from us—it will be an issue.
  8. Setting boundaries Many times, people rush into relationships because something is missing in their lives and they think a relationship will heal everything. When that’s the case, personal boundaries might all but disappear. It is never OK to sacrifice yourself, standards, or your body for the sake of making a potential relationship work. You need to set firm boundaries in any relationship, but especially with someone you’re trusting with your heart.
  9. Building something that’s meaningful Who doesn’t want the type of love that’s undeniable? The love that is hard to walk away from and makes you want to work tirelessly to keep? The problem when you rush things is that you can actually rush all the way to the end. Just as easily as the fire was lit, the more fuel you toss on it, the quicker you’ll run out of said fuel and your fire will be out. Once things start to get dull, those butterflies you were once feeling will leave and you’ll be stuck in a lackluster relationship wondering how you got there.
  10. Special first times Remember how you felt when you and your crush held hands for the first time, or maybe even your first kiss. These are the moments you want to cherish in a new relationship. That means you probably don’t want them all happening on the same night, right? Take the time to savor the precious firsts by not rushing yourself or your guy to make a move. Remember, slow and steady wins the race, and if you want it to last, make all your firsts special!