Things I Need To Get Me Through My Single AF Life

I’m a single girl living the single AF lifestyle and every once in a while, my relationship status (or lack thereof) can get me down. It’s hard to not feel lonely sometimes, but I can’t let the fact that I don’t have a boyfriend define me. I might be single AF, but these things get me through even my darkest of days:

  1. My single girls group. In order to survive the single life, a girl has to have single friends. I have friends in relationships and I’m so happy for them, but sometimes you just need single friends you can vent to. I like to surround myself with women who understand what I’m going through. We’re a support system for each other, and that’s the only way I’ll make it through this single AF lifestyle.
  2. Netflix. No night is lonely when I have my Netflix account by my side. When I’m bored, I can spend a lot of time thinking about the fact that I’m alone, but with unlimited movies and TV shows at my fingertips, that rarely happens. Boys may come and go, but Netflix is forever — as long as I keep paying my subscription fee, that is.
  3. A good supply of wine. If I’ve had a long day, I need a way to take the edge off, so I grab my favorite bottle and make sure the glass is never empty. That liquid courage makes me brave enough to make the first move at the bar and lowers my stress levels for a night on my own. I don’t always turn to the bottle, but if I ever need a friend to turn to, wine is always there.
  4. My amazing family. No matter what happens in my love life, they’ve always been here and I know that they always will be. I want a family of my own someday, but if that isn’t in the cards, I’ll always have a home for the holidays. They say you can’t pick your family, but I got pretty damn lucky with mine, so even if I never pick a husband, I’ll always have people by my side.
  5. Forgiveness. For every guy that’s let me down and every mistake I’ve made in love. Holding grudges isn’t going to get me anywhere. In fact, it will probably set me back by making me bitter and unhappy. That’s not the person I want to be and that’s not the person I’m going to be.
  6. Having a career I’m passionate about. My career gives me purpose and that purpose brings me joy. I want passion in my love life, but I need passion in my career too. That’s what keeps me going. That’s what pushes me to be my best. As great as men are, they’ll never give me that feeling, and knowing that makes the single life a lot less depressing.
  7. Believing that “The One” is out there. I’m preparing myself for the worst, but I’m still hoping for the best. I believe my true love is out there; I just haven’t found him yet. There’s nothing wrong with me and there’s no particular reason I’m single other than the fact that the guy I’m meant to be with has yet to come into my life. I know he will, though, and believing that will get me through even the loneliest single days.
  8. A plethora of take-out menus. Going out all the time can be expensive, but cooking for one every night can be depressing. Thank god there’s some middle ground, and that’s the amazing invention of take-out. A good list of take-out places is a must in the single girl lifestyle. I might be single, but I’m busy. I don’t always have the time to cook, but hey, a girl’s gotta eat. Thank god for online ordering.
  9. A best friend for life. No matter what happens, no matter where life or love takes us, I know that my best friend will always be there for me. Relationships might fade, but our friendship is forever. I cheer her on in her relationships and she’s always a shoulder to cry on when I’m in need. Single girlfriends can disappear when they finally find boyfriends, but my best friend is family, and she’s not going anywhere.
  10. Exercise. There’s nothing like a little cardio to work out your angry single girl aggression. I punch out all the men who’ve hurt me while boxing and run from the bad boys on the treadmill. Physical therapy can be emotional therapy, and without my daily exercise routine, this single girl would head straight for the asylum to be declared clinically insane.
  11. Freedom. That’s what being single is all about — having the freedom to do what I want when I want without regards to a partner. I’m in control of my own life and that’s what makes the single life so exhilarating. I don’t have to adhere to any standards. I don’t have to be the prime example of what society thinks a lady should be. I’m single and I’m living by my own rules. That’s how any single AF girl should be.
  12. Being grateful for what I already have. The truth is, even if I don’t have a boyfriend, I have a lot in my life to be thankful for. People might feel sorry for me when they hear I’m still single, but they shouldn’t because I don’t feel sorry for myself in the slightest. I want to find love someday, but I don’t need to because no matter what, even if I’m single, my life is pretty spectacular.
Kelsey Dykstra is a freelance writer based in Huntington Beach, CA. She has a bachelor’s degree in Creative Writing from Grand Valley State University and been writing professionally since graduating in 2013. In addition to writing about love and relationships for Bolde and lifestyle topics for Love to Know, she also writes about payment security and small business solutions for PaymentCloud.

Originally from Michigan, this warm weather seeker relocated to the OC just last summer. Kelsey enjoys writing her own fictional pieces, reading a variety of young adult novels, binging on Netflix, and of course soaking up the sun.

You can find more about Kelsey on her LinkedIn profile or on Twitter @dykstrakelsey.