Honesty and trust are, without a doubt, the two most essential elements in any relationship, but that doesn’t mean there’s no room for little white lies here and there. In fact, I would go so far as to say that there are times when women should be encouraged to tell a fib to their boyfriends. While this shouldn’t become a regular occurrence, here are 10 things it’s more than okay to fudge the truth about.
- Your number of sexual partners Deep down, guys don’t really want to know this. It’s good to have a talk about past relationships, but guys aren’t interested in hearing how many guys you’ve slept with. Unless you met at a church social, he won’t expect your number to be zero. But whatever the truth may be, just tell him a low number to prevent him from feeling insecure. Odds are, he’ll believe whatever number you tell him, so if you want, you can tell a white lie to make him more comfortable.
- How much you love him You may love your mom, your kid, or your dog more than your boyfriend, but don’t tell him that. Always tell a serious boyfriend that you love him more than anyone. Ideally, your actions will back that up, but guys just want to hear the words so they don’t have to worry. As long as you do actually care about him a lot and aren’t pretending for some underhanded purpose, this is totally cool.
- When you’re attracted to someone else Okay, so this doesn’t mean you can hide an affair from your boyfriend. But it’s natural for all of us to be attracted to other people, even those in a serious relationship. That doesn’t mean your boyfriend has to know about your crush on a new co-worker or an old friend. Admitting your attraction is just going to make your boyfriend jealous and suspicious. Ultimately, you’re both better off by denying it.
- Any lingering feelings for your ex For what it’s worth, it doesn’t feel good lying to someone about the feelings you have for your ex, but admitting them isn’t going to help anyone. While you definitely shouldn’t be with someone new when you’re not totally over your last partner, if you cared about them, you’re always going to on some level. You can’t let that get in the way of your current relationship. Just lie to your boyfriend and tell him that you have no lingering feelings for your ex. Doing so will put him at ease and give him no reason to worry.
- How you screwed up a past relationship There’s always a fine line to walk when it comes to divulging information about your past relationships. Even early in a new relationship, you don’t want to rattle off a list of your fatal flaws that caused all of your past relationships to fail. Doing so could make your boyfriend nervous and scare him away. Yes, a guy wants to know the real you. But he doesn’t need to know about all of your regrets. As long as you’ve learned from your past mistakes, there’s no need to dwell on them in your current relationship.
- When you hate his friends. Even if you hate the guys he hangs out with, don’t outright tell him that. You don’t want to put your boyfriend in that uncomfortable position. As long as you can tolerate them every now and then, it’s okay to lie to your boyfriend when you hate his friends. Letting him know that you don’t like them will just drive a wedge into your relationship. The trick is making sure your actions back up this lie.
- When you hate his outfit Come on, what are you going to gain by criticizing an outfit that your boyfriend loves? There are other ways you can help improve a guy’s fashion sense. Guys tend to like outfits for different reasons. Sometimes it’s hard to explain those reasons. Just lie and say you like what he’s wearing while subtly trying to steer him toward better fashion choices.
- His sexual prowess Needless to say, this is a sensitive subject with guys. Even if he isn’t the greatest lover, it’s okay to lie and tell him that he’s pretty good. Granted, you don’t want to oversell it and give him delusions of grandeur. You also need to leave a little wiggle room to offer constructive criticism later. Just tell whatever lie you need to help keep his confidence up. Honestly, any lie is better than outright telling a guy that he’s bad in the sack.
- That thing you can’t get over If something has always bothered you about your boyfriend that you can’t get over, don’t let him know. Just lie to him and try to let it go. If it’s not a deal-breaker or something that can be easily fixed, lying is better than sparing his feelings or making him question the entire relationship. There are times when a lie of omission is the best option.
- The real reason he’s getting dumped When you’re breaking up with a guy, it’s important to be specific without being too hurtful. This doesn’t mean you can bust out the old “it’s not you, it’s me” cliche. You need to give him some version of the truth so that he understands why things are over. You don’t want to leave him wondering what went wrong, but you have to lie to him if the truth will crush him. Breaking up with someone is not an excuse to be cruel, so be careful with how truthful you are when you let him go.
