Parenting has come a long way, hasn’t it? What was once considered “discipline” or “building character” now feels downright harsh through today’s lens. Back in the day, parents thought they were doing the right thing, but many of those old-school methods would raise eyebrows—or land someone in serious trouble—now. Here are 15 parenting practices from the past that might make today’s parents cringe, and why they’ve been (thankfully) left behind.
1. Spanking With Whatever Was Handy
Belts, switches, wooden spoons—you name it, parents used it to “teach a lesson.” Back then, it was seen as a quick fix for bad behavior. Today, we know physical punishment can cause lasting emotional damage and doesn’t actually improve behavior in the long run. Now, modern parenting focuses on communication and natural consequences instead of reaching for whatever’s within arm’s length.
2. Public Humiliation as Punishment
Got caught talking back? You might find yourself standing in the corner with a dunce cap, or worse, being paraded in front of neighbors as an example. Parents thought embarrassment would teach accountability, but now we understand how damaging public shaming can be. Instead of building character, it often led to feelings of unworthiness and long-term anxiety.
3. The Silent Treatment
For some parents, ignoring their child for hours—or even days—was a way to “teach them a lesson.” The idea was to make the child think about what they’d done wrong. Today, this tactic is what we would refer to as emotional neglect. Kids need connection and guidance, not isolation, to learn from their mistakes and feel secure in their relationships.
4. “Toughen Up, Buttercup”
If you cried after falling off your bike, you’d get a sharp “Quit crying, you’re fine.” Emotional support wasn’t exactly high on the priority list. Parents thought dismissing tears built resilience, but now we know it teaches kids to suppress emotions instead of processing them. Modern parenting encourages validation of feelings, which helps kids build real emotional strength.
5. Leaving Kids Home Alone—Way Too Young
Latchkey kids were practically a cultural norm. Whether they were six or twelve, children were left to fend for themselves after school while parents worked or ran errands. While independence is great, leaving young kids unsupervised for hours would now be considered neglect. These days, safety guidelines and childcare options are a reflection that kids have needs and shouldn’t be fending for themselves.
6. Smacking for Backtalk
Talking back to your parents was a surefire way to get a smack across the face. It wasn’t about abuse—it was about “respect.” At least, that’s what parents thought. Today, physical punishment like this is seen as unacceptable and counterproductive. Teaching respect now involves modeling good communication and setting clear, non-violent boundaries.
7. Shaming Kids for Bad Grades
“What’s wrong with you?” or “Why aren’t you as smart as your sister?” were common responses to a bad report card. Parents thought shame was motivational, but it often had the opposite effect. These days, parents try to understand what the root of academic struggles is and support their child with things like tutoring or encouragement, rather than piling on guilt.
8. Ignoring Mental Health Issues
“You’re not depressed, you’re just lazy” was a common sentiment. Mental health wasn’t widely understood, and kids struggling with anxiety or depression were often dismissed. Today, we know the importance of validating mental health concerns and seeking professional help when needed. Ignoring these issues isn’t tough love—it’s neglectful.
9. Fear-Based Parenting
“Wait until your father gets home” sent chills down kids’ spines. Parents used fear to control behavior, but it didn’t foster trust or understanding. Instead, it created anxiety and resentment. Modern parenting focuses on mutual respect and communication, helping kids understand consequences without instilling fear or dread.
10. Forcing Kids to Eat Everything on Their Plate
“There are starving kids in [insert country here]” was the standard guilt trip. Parents meant well, but forcing kids to clean their plate ignored their natural hunger cues and could lead to unhealthy eating habits later. These days, parents are encouraged to offer balanced meals and respect their child’s appetite, avoiding power struggles at the dinner table.
11. Mocking or Teasing About Appearance
Parents would sometimes joke about a kid’s weight, height, or acne, thinking it was harmless banter. In reality, those comments left deep scars. Today, we know that body shaming—even in jest—can harm a child’s self-esteem for years. Positive reinforcement and promoting self-confidence are the way forward.
12. Silencing Kids’ Opinions
“Children should be seen and not heard” was practically a household mantra. Questioning authority or expressing an opinion often led to punishment. While parents thought they were teaching respect, they were actually stifling confidence and critical thinking. Now, we encourage kids to speak up and engage in respectful dialogue, knowing it helps them develop into assertive adults.
13. Forcing Traditional Gender Roles
“Boys don’t cry” and “Girls should act like ladies” were phrases every kid heard. These rigid gender expectations didn’t allow kids to explore their identities freely. Today, parents are ditching these stereotypes and embracing individuality, letting kids discover who they are without outdated restrictions dictating their interests or emotions.
14. Using Public Spankings as Discipline
If you acted up in the store, you might get a spanking right there in front of everyone. Parents believed swift, public punishment would make a stronger impact. Today, public humiliation paired with physical punishment is recognized as harmful. Modern discipline focuses on privacy, respect, and guiding behavior without shame or fear.
15. Comparing Kids to Siblings or Friends
“Why can’t you be more like your brother?” was a favorite parenting tactic for many. The intention was to inspire better behavior, but comparisons often left kids feeling inadequate. Modern parenting steers clear of pitting kids against each other, focusing instead on their unique strengths and encouraging healthy self-esteem.
This content was created by a real person with the assistance of AI.
