Things That Are Keeping You Single & Holding You Back From Finding Love

While many people tend to fixate on physical appearance when it comes to dating problems, there are actually personality traits and behavioral issues that are far more damaging when it comes to boyfriend prospects. Sure, the way you look plays a big role in the dating inferno, but everyone has different preferences there. You might be someone’s cup of tea aesthetically but then totally ruin everything with annoying behavior. These things will definitely keep you stuck in the single life while they send dudes running for the hills like they’re being chased by velociraptors on fire.

  1. Your attitude. Your outlook on life and how you carry yourself is everything. If you have a piss-poor attitude, you’re going to have a piss-poor dating life. You can’t hide a persistent foul mood. It’s very off-putting because it permeates every aspect of your behavior, from your conversational tone to your body language. It’s okay to take a breather from dating and figure out why you’re so angry or combative all the time. You should always work on yourself before you get involved with someone else.
  2. Your sense of humor (or lack thereof). No guy wants to date someone who thinks unfunny things are hilarious or someone who hasn’t laughed at anything since the Clinton administration. Being able to cut loose and laugh (especially at yourself) makes you more approachable and fun to be around. Self-deprecating humor is great because it shows that you don’t take yourself too seriously. But, finding a balance with that is important because if you take it too far, people might just feel sorry for you and think that you legitimately hate yourself. Guys don’t want to feel like they have to give you compliments to boost your mood.
  3. Your facial expressions. A lot of people are unaware of their facial expressions and how they appear to others. There’s not necessarily anything wrong with that-those people are just comfortable inside their own heads. But, if you’re trying to meet new people, resting bitch face can be a strong deterrent for others. Practice having a “happy” look when you’re doing everyday things. You don’t have to have a gigantic smile plastered across your face 24/7. You don’t want to look like a coked-out Barbie doll. Just try appearing upbeat or friendly.
  4. Obvious desperation. Desperation is unattractive as hell. It makes you ignore terrible qualities in others and accept fixable character flaws in yourself. You should never be in such a sad state of being that you’re willing to throw yourself at anyone with a pulse. No guy wants to introduce you to his friends as the desperate girl that mercilessly flirted with him as if her last two eggs were going to detonate in sixty seconds.
  5. Too much partying. Excessive partying may signal to men that you are irresponsible or quite possibly a full-blown alcoholic. Someone like that might be fun for random sh*ts and giggles but not for a serious relationship. Partying is fun, but it’s exhausting when it’s happening constantly. If you want to be seen as girlfriend material, turn the raging blackouts down a notch.
  6. Crappy friends. The company you keep says a lot about you. If your friends suck, guys are going to think you’re the same way. You can’t expect to hit it off with nice people when you’re traveling in a bitchy pack of tequila-infused howler monkeys. You’ll have much better luck if you try sitting at a bar alone. You’re less intimidating to approach that way, and men won’t have to weigh the pros and cons of talking to you without a yellow fever vaccination.
  7. A sordid dating history. Dating the same kind of loser over and over and over again doesn’t make you look very appealing. The past may be in the past, but men are probably going to wonder about the kind of person you are when you repeat the same mistakes and don’t make any changes to your behavior or to the people you let into your life. It’s never too late to change, but an extensive dating history full of BS is going to be a pretty hefty red flag.
  8. Low self-esteem. How can you expect someone else to like you when you don’t even like yourself? Surely you have good qualities that someone else would admire you for. It’s very obvious when you don’t love or respect yourself and it can get to the point where you’re straight up embarrassing to watch. Confidence is hot as hell. It’s magnetic. When you actually like who you are, you have a natural “glow” that people are drawn to. That will always be more attractive than someone who hates everything from their hair color to their choice of toilet paper brand.
Lauren Clark is a writer and news curator based in Denver, Colorado with bylines here on Bolde and at While she’s vehemently anti-social media, you can find her on LinkedIn.