7 Things I Try To Remember When I’m Feeling Fed Up With Being Single

I’m not desperate for a relationship but I’m also not going to lie and pretend it wouldn’t be nice to have someone to share the journey with, so to speak. Unfortunately, the dating scene suuuuucks and it can seriously get me down—when it does, that’s when I try to remind myself of these things. Maybe they’ll help you too.

  1. I’d rather be alone than with someone who’s all wrong for me. Seriously, who wouldn’t? I’ve been in toxic relationships before and they always left me exhausted, depressed, and totally disillusioned with love. I know now that it’s better to be on my own than with someone who isn’t right for me.
  2. I’m not willing to lower my standards for the sake of not being alone. Along the same lines, I have to admit that sometimes it’s tempting to date someone that I know isn’t on my level just because it would mean I’d have someone around to do things with and to care about me. Thankfully, I’ve learned how to master these illogical and potentially harmful thoughts. There’s no way I’ll be with a guy who doesn’t meet my (not in any way unreasonable) standards. It’s just not happening.
  3. My life is incredibly full already. I have incredible friends, an awesome career that I’m continually building on, and lots of hobbies and passions that fulfill and inspire me. Sure, it’d be great to add a healthy, happy relationship in the mix, but my life isn’t exactly lacking without one.
  4. This is the perfect time to work on myself. While I pride myself on actually having my act together, I truly do believe that life is a continuous journey to improve ourselves and become stronger, smarter, kinder, and overall better people. If we stopped doing that, what would be the point? While I don’t have a relationship to distract me, this is the perfect time to keep focusing on being a better me.
  5. I’ll miss my single days when I’m actually in a relationship. The grass is always greener on the other side, and while I think being coupled up sounds wonderful now, I know when it actually happens that I’ll always have a pang for the single life no matter how much I love my partner. It’s just how it goes, so I need to enjoy what’s right in front of me now rather than taking it for granted.
  6. Complete and total independence feels pretty damn great. I don’t plan on being in a relationship that restricts my freedom in any way, but it’d be ridiculous to think that my life won’t change in many ways when I’m settled down with someone else. You have to consider your partner, and that means making sacrifices with your time and energy sometimes. I don’t have to do that for now—it’s all about me and I love it.
  7. Alone doesn’t mean lonely. Definitely not. I’m not only comfortable with my own company, I love it. Spending time with myself makes me feel refreshed, confident, and ready to take on the world. Sure, a little company is nice from time to time, but being alone doesn’t mean being lonely—not for me.
Piper Ryan is a NYC-based writer and matchmaker who works to bring millennials who are sick of dating apps and the bar scene together in an organic and efficient way. To date, she's paired up more than 120 couples, many of whom have gone on to get married. Her work has been highlighted in The New York Times, Time Out New York, The Cut, and many more.

In addition to runnnig her own business, Piper is passionate about charity work, advocating for vulnerable women and children in her local area and across the country. She is currently working on her first book, a non-fiction collection of stories focusing on female empowerment.