10 Things You Should Never Excuse No Matter How Much You Like Him

Everyone has little quirks that ride on the edge of being endearing and annoying, and usually, they aren’t an issue when it comes to dating. The problem comes in when you misidentify your partner’s “quirks” that are actually major personality flaws. If your partner has any of these qualities, they’re going to eventually drive you insane if you stick around.

  1. Poor hygiene Frequent skid marks and swampy armpits aren’t the cute characteristics of a free spirit who doesn’t care what anyone thinks of him — they are a serious (and really gross) flaw. A guy who views taking a shower and brushing his teeth as inconveniences instead of necessities isn’t someone you want to get involved with. Basic hygiene is common sense, and anyone who eschews it isn’t relationship material.
  2. Incompetence with basic chores Everyone should know how to do their own laundry, load a dishwasher, and cook a meal. A grown man who is completely reliant on another person to do those things for him because he never bothered to learn isn’t someone worth dating. Chores aren’t meant to be fun — most of them are tedious, dusty, and boring — but they’re necessary parts of everyday life, and they need to get done. You have your own stuff to do, and it’s probably going to drive you crazy if you have to teach an adult how to be an adult.
  3. Social media addiction Spending countless hours digging through pictures and statuses and updating multiple profiles dozens of times a day is an obsession, not a quirky hobby. Social media can be a great way to stay in touch with friends and connect with other people, but a guy who lets it consume his life has a serious flaw. His face is going to be buried in his phone at all hours of the day, and he’ll probably be difficult to talk to because of that. Just don’t bother.
  4. Bad money management skills A full-fledged adult should know how to spend his money wisely so he can take care of himself. Irresponsible spending habits aren’t harmlessly endearing little quirks — they’re serious flaws that can turn your life into an absolute dumpster fire. If you end up living with a guy who can’t manage his own budget and pay his bills on time, you’re going to be the one picking up the slack. You could end up in a lot of debt yourself, which is something you definitely don’t need on top of your terribly depressing student loans and other expenses.
  5. A defeatist attitude When cynicism has its own zip code in someone’s personality, it’s a serious flaw, not a quirk. Many people enjoy self-deprecating humor, but no one appreciates a gloomy jerk who whines about failure before it even happens. It’s possible to have realistic expectations without turning into a sad pushover. A guy who seems to be incapable of that won’t make a good partner.
  6. Being clingy You shouldn’t date someone who thinks that emotional smothering is a normal aspect of dating. If a guy thinks that the two of you must be attached at the hip every waking second, he’s got issues. It’s extremely unhealthy to view a relationship as an arrangement where your partner can never leave your sight. The attachment and concern might seem cute at first, but they’ll cause that relationship to crash and burn eventually.
  7. Perpetual joblessness The current job market does suck, but refusing to work and pursuing a wacky dream instead is a serious flaw. People in relationships need to be able to depend on each other, and you’ll never be able to do that with a guy who can’t be bothered to hold down a job. The “starving artist” thing might be appealing to a lonely high school girl with an active imagination, but a grown woman should be running for the hills at light speed.
  8. A bad temper Explosive fits of rage aren’t a sign to stick around and attempt to console the mysterious, sensitive man underneath it all. Uncontrollable anger is a flaw, and it has no place in dating or relationships. You shouldn’t have to tip-toe around your significant other’s delicate nature and do everything in your power to avoid triggering another rage fest. There might be a misunderstood, intelligent individual stuck behind that wall of anger, but it isn’t your job to fix that. That’s what therapy is for.
  9. Laziness Everyone needs those relaxing days where they do nothing but play video games and walk to the kitchen, but a guy who is lazy to the point of dysfunction is just a mess. Unending laziness can be a hard habit to break, and it can affect everything from his job performance to his personal health. If you’re the type of girl who likes to go out and take care of business, a perpetually lazy guy isn’t someone you should date.
  10. Poor listening abilities Communicating is obviously very important in relationships. Listening is a big part of communication, and a guy who can’t absorb information during a conversation isn’t relationship material. It’s normal for minds to wander sometimes, but drifting off and forgetting everything constantly is a serious flaw. There’s nothing cute and quirky about having to repeat yourself until you go insane.
Lauren Clark is a writer and news curator based in Denver, Colorado with bylines here on Bolde and at Inside.com. While she’s vehemently anti-social media, you can find her on LinkedIn.
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