We’re always told that we shouldn’t share too much on first dates because it can cause guys to make a run for the exit. I say screw that. In fact, sometimes revealing things that would normally be considered TMI can actually be a good thing for any relationship you might develop down the road. Here are some things you should talk about on dates ASAP.
- Your relationship history The good, the bad, the ugly – let it all out. Not only is this a great way to encourage your date to spill the beans about his relationship history so you can feel him out, but it shows you have nothing to hide. Your exes are exes for a reason, so there’s no reason to keep them hidden away like they’re precious or something.
- Your crazy family Hey, everyone loves a good story. Don’t be afraid to talk about your family even if they’re more crazy than humorous. It’s a great way to keep your date entertained and engaged. Besides, “tell me about your family” is usually one of the first things people ask each other on dates. Be honest! You never know when you could end up bonding over something.
- Your current dating experiences If you’re both single and mingling, chances are that you’ve both been on recent dates. Talking about them doesn’t have to be a no-no. Not only entertaining, but these stories can also shed light on the type of guy you’re dealing with and what he’s looking for.
- What you’re looking for Who says you shouldn’t express what you want in the dating game? The sooner you tell the person, the better because then you won’t waste each other’s time. Get away from the guy who says he doesn’t want women to be open about what they’re looking for too soon because it’s too intense.
- What makes you feel alive Forget coming on too strong. If a guy says you’re “too much,” he’s not the right guy for you. One of the most amazing things is to see someone’s eyes light up when they talk about what gets them up in the morning. Share info about what makes you feel alive and what makes your life so awesome.
- What you really feel A study that was done by Stanford University and the University of California, Santa Barbara, found that using uncertain language such as “maybe” or “kinda” can make your date fail because it zaps your connection. If you don’t like the restaurant, say so. If you don’t want to get sloshed out of your mind, be honest about it. Be real and authentic. We spend way too much time worrying about what the other person will think of us to the point where we leave our personalities at home.
- Your crazy, weird, awesome quirks If the subject goes onto quirks, then share some of yours. Not only does this make you more memorable, but what you consider to be your flaws are actually endearing.
- Your bubbly sense of humor We’re always told it’s good to keep early dates light, but then if we laugh too much we’re said to be OTT. Screw that. If you find things funny, go ahead and laugh. Share your funny thoughts and ideas. Humor is a fantastic way to connect with someone and besides, if your date doesn’t get the joke then maybe he’s just not in sync with your vibrant personality.
- Don’t be afraid to be ambitious One of the ways you might think you have to cut yourself down to size on dates with someone new is by toning down how ambitious you are. Maybe you really love your career and you’re worried that expressing this will make it seem like you have no time for a relationship, or maybe you want to start your own business and you’re making that a priority but you don’t want to seem crazy for having an out-there idea. Screw it! Be open about your life and what matters to you. Be ambitious – it can only attract the right guys who share the sentiment and it’ll weed out the guys who are jealous.
- What your deal breakers are This is another one that’s usually frowned upon because it’s considered TMI, but isn’t it better to let people know what you want and don’t want? Isn’t that one of the most important things to talk about when seeing if you should date or not? While you don’t want to bring out a long list of deal breakers, it never hurts to slot some into conversation. For example, if your date’s talking about how he took back his ex who cheated, you could tell him cheating’s a deal breaker for you. At least if you’re not on the same page when it comes to deal breakers, you’ll know right away.
