If You Do These 11 Things While Texting, It’s Never Going To Work Out

Given that it’s a staple in modern communication, you’d think that most people would have mastered the art of texting by now. But after chatting with way too many clueless guys, I can sadly confirm that it’s just not true. I feel like I shouldn’t have to explain this, but if you’re doing any of these things when you text me, you’re better off losing my number:

Write essays 

You’re not writing the first draft of your novel — you’re just telling me about your day, trying to be funny, or asking me to see a movie this weekend. If you do this and end up with nothing to talk about when you see me in person, you have only yourself to blame.

Write one-word answers 

Leaning too far to the opposite end of the text-length spectrum isn’t going to cut it, either. If I can take the time to text you, you can write more than “ok” or “yeah.” There’s a fine line between writing too little and writing too much, but I think you can learn to walk it.

Play hot and cold 

There you are, blowing up my phone for days on end, and then suddenly, you totally disappear. I keep checking to see if you just messaged me, but when my screen is constantly blank, I start to wonder what the hell is going on. Then, just as quickly as you disappeared, you pop back into my life again like nothing ever happened. I don’t play games, and I’m not sticking around for a guy who thinks they’re acceptable.

Take forever to reply 

Playing hard-to-get isn’t cute, and it’s not going to do you any favors. If you constantly take hours to reply to my messages, it’s not going to take long for me to give up and find someone who can text me back within a reasonable period of time.

Blow up my phone 

I have a life, and I really hope that you do too. Unfortunately, when you seem to be texting me every minute that passes by, I have wonder if that’s really the case. Triple-texting me and sending question marks when I take more than two minutes to reply comes off as desperate, and I don’t have the time or the energy to deal with it.

Use more emojis than words 

Yeah, I get that it’s 2016 and everyone uses emojis. But if the majority of your replies consist of kissy faces and eggplants, it’s just not going to work out. I shouldn’t  have to explain why this makes you look ridiculous.

Bombard me with questions 

I get that you want to know stuff about me, and I want to learn more about you, too. Do me a favor and save the the game of twenty questions for when we’re face to face instead of interrogating me over text.

Be overly vague 

If your text messages are so vague that I need to decode them, I’m not into that. I don’t want to date you if you spend every waking moment trying too hard to be cool.

Get too personal

I’m not into sharing super personal info over text messages. Let things evolve naturally. If I’m into you, then I’m going to keep dating you, and you’ll learn everything there is to know about me. A little patience never hurt anyone.


If I didn’t answer your first message, it’s because I didn’t get to it yet. It doesn’t mean that I’m never going to reply. I’m busy, and I have more important things to do than stare at my phone 24/7.

Be passive-aggressive 

If you don’t like something that I just said, or you totally misunderstood me, then give me a call or wait until you see me in person. Being bratty because you’re annoyed with me isn’t going to make me apologize; it’s just going to confuse and frustrate me.

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