As quickly as we can point out the guys’ romantic shortcomings, they’ve got just as many complaints about us. None of us are perfect, but according to the men I know — some of whom are single and others happily coupled up — women could stand to work on these things in particular:
- We don’t offer to pay our own way enough. This was the number one and most consistent thing all the men I talked to said. They believe that dates should be split 50/50 on most occasions and that the women should offer to pay a lot more often. It might suck to say goodbye to the golden days of chivalry in this regard, but it’s only fair.
- Women ghost too, and it sucks. Men aren’t the only ones notorious for pulling the crappy ghosting routine. Women do it too, and it baffles them just as it does us. No one should be ghosting anyone, period. If you don’t want to continue seeing each other, then say so.
- We don’t appreciate the little things they do for us. Failure to acknowledge that the guy we’re dating has done something nice for us is another common complaint. A simple thank you when he opens doors for you or picks up the tab for your date goes a long way. Men like to feel like they’re cared about and needed as much as we do.
- We continue to play the waiting to respond/acting busy game. Grown men aren’t into the whole cat and mouse BS we pull by withholding responses and availability. Genuine busyness is totally fine, but if we’re posting memes on Instagram while he’s still waiting for a reply, he knows we’re trying to bait him and it really pisses him off.
- We’re constantly on our phones, even during dates. This is pretty self-explanatory, but I was amazed at how many men had experienced this. Being on your phone all the time in the early stages of dating is just plain rude, no matter who is doing it.
- We pretend to like sports when we don’t, and it’s not fooling them. We don’t need to act like we’re super into sports if we know zero things about them/hate them.. Guys would rather that we just said, “I don’t really follow it, but I would like to spend time with you anyway.” Simple and to the point.
- We’re way too picky about height. Have you even noticed that 80% of men’s Tinder profiles include their height? It’s because men get routinely shunned if they’re too short — and sometimes, they aren’t really short at all! If we want someone taller than us, that’s totally fine, but he doesn’t need to be a basketball player to make the cut. Maybe we should date the shorter guy for a change — he might wildly surprise us.
- Sometimes we’re too materialistic. Most men don’t care about labels and designer items the same way women fawn over them. If a woman shows she’s only all about the finer things in life, men feel like they need to put their wallets into witness protection. Men want to be wanted and needed for their qualities and connection to us, not because of what they can buy us.