A lot of women live with a roommate until they get a place with their partner. For the lucky few who can afford the adventure of living on their own, the change can be liberating but also isolating. If you’re wondering if living alone might make you a little bit weird, check out these 14 things women who live alone are guaranteed to do on a daily basis:
Look super gross in the morning. Let’s face it, ladies, if you don’t have to leave the house, you’re probably lounging around looking gross all morning. If you’re not participating in morning sex, no one’s around to see that you still have last night’s mascara on at 11:30 and are wearing that 10 year old oversized shirt that has stains and holes in it. Rock on and stay comfy.
Obsess over home decor. When you live alone, the pressure is ON for each decorative accent you purchase to be a complete and total reflection of your taste and who you are as a person. Are you more shabby chic or rustic modern? Better watch 48 hours of straight HGTV and make 1,000 trips to Home Goods before you commit to the perfect lamp.
Put off chores until the absolute last minute. People who live alone tend to be out and about most of the time, not noticing the piles of laundry and dishes that are building up. You don’t realize you’re living in a disgusting pile of filth until someone texts you that they’re stopping by later. Cue wine enhanced mad panic of cleaning.
Binge watch guilty pleasure shows. No one around to share the remote with or judge your sloth like behavior? Sounds like a perfect opportunity to watch an entire season of Gilmore Girls or Friday Night Lights.
Try EVERYTHING on Pinterest. You’ve got plenty of “me time” on your hands to hot glue gun 500 wine corks to your Ikea dresser, make a face mask out of whatever is in your fridge, and attempt to cut your own bangs. Why buy something when you can spend twice as much on supplies you saw on Pinterest?
Hang out in their underwear. Yup, this actually happens. Whether you’re trying to avoid getting make up or food on your clothes, or it’s SERIOUSLY laundry day, or you’re just super comfy in your skivvies, you enjoy the privacy that enables you to hang out in your underwear.
Spend exorbitant amounts of time in the bathroom. Living alone means no one will judge you for staring at your pores in the mirror for an hour or doing getting ready “trials” in the middle of the day to test out new looks or hair and make-up techniques.
Master every new beauty trend. If you live by yourself, you were probably the first in your group to perfect winged liner, or master stobing, or perfectly file your kitty cat claws. Your friends don’t need to know you failed a dozen times first while you were getting ready alone.
Listen to the same playlist on repeat. You’re the only one in the apartment who is trying to sleep or get work done, so it’s party time whenever you want it to be party time! Plus silence is a little bit creepy, especially at night.
Check out your bod, often. You’re the only one around. Go ahead and check out your abs and booty 100 times a day to check if those 20 crunches you just did are noticeable yet, or if anyone will be able to tell you had an entire Domino’s Pizza by yourself last night.
Pass out on the couch. If you’re curled up on the couch late night, you’re probably already with your true love, Netflix. Sleeping next to the back of the couch might be the closest you’ll get to sleeping next to a real human body. Also, the couch is a much easier destination than your bed when you come home alone schwasted.
Eat really oddly. For a lot of people, grocery shopping for 1 doesn’t really make sense. Your at home diet consists of random snacks, a variety of items from leftover containers, and crap you bought at the gas station drunk at 3 am. With no one around to ask you if you’re hungry, you sometimes forget a meal and compensate by ordering so much take out that the deliver guy gives you 3 plastic forks with your order.
Buy the value sized bottle of wine. Olivia Pope had the right idea about settling in for a night alone with a large glass of red wine. Since you’re on a first name basis with your local liquor store owner who has long since stopped IDing you, you’ve upgraded to the value sized bottle to make the awkward exchange of him giving you a judgmental look while you put another bottle of discount wine on your credit card slightly less frequent.
Bug everyone you know to come over. Why waste money going to a night club when you have a perfectly good apartment to hang out in? Living alone means a larger percentage of your income is going to rent, so you need to get your moneys worth. Bottle service is so much cheaper in your living room, guys!
Talk to your pets. Maybe you’ve tried to fix your loneliness with a pet or you had one before you lived alone. Either way, you begin to fill the void of human contact by chatting it up with your fury friend. If you can’t seem to stop yourself when you have company over, it may be time to look in to getting a roommate.